A Million, Billion Years
by MegaMansUncleGus
Summary: Shinsuke made a promise years ago to be Sayori's best friend. Now, he has to do whatever it takes to make sure that his best friend and the other club members are okay. I never got good at writing summaries. Basically, I wasn't able to find an OC/Sayori fic that really did it for me, so I took a crack at it. It's gonna deal with some rough stuff, but it'll get fluffier as we go
1. Chapter 1

"The thing is... I've had pretty bad depression my whole life."

Shin whipped a rock toward a moon-lit lake, hoping to skip it, but not quite able to get it to do more thank sink. He let his best friends words replay through his head for the millionth time. _How did I have no idea?_ He sighed, as he continued to ponder to himself. _We've known each other... man, 10 years? 12? And I didn't notice?! I gotta be the shittiest friend ever._

He picked himself off the ground he was sitting on and, after a quick dusting, started shuffling home. _We used to be inseparable, and now I can barely find the time to walk her to school. And for what? Blood, guts and anime titties? Yeah, that was worth it, wasn't it? You're lonely and miserable, and so is your best friend, and you haven't been there to help her out!_

"I'm scared that... that I like you more than you like me."

_Fuck, and that's another thing. _Shinsuke grunted. _Was that... Sayori... confessing to me? Is she just scared that I don't want to be her friend anymore? _He shook his head and softly chuckled. _Don't be stupid, stupid, Sayori doesn't like you like THAT! Of course she's scared, what have I done to prove her wrong? _He cringed, thinking of how passively mean he'd been to her. Sure, he knew that he was joking... but did she? All the times he called her a klutz, called her a dummy, an idiot... did she take it seriously? _Fuck, I gotta apologize to her in the morning. _Before he knew it he was home, but he kept walking. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep yet.

"You'll always be my dearest friend."

_I wanted to tell her how I felt, but... I dunno man, it just didn't seem like the right time. Wouldn't it have been kind of manipulative to tell her while she was vulnerable like that? _But the truth is, Shinsuke had a thing for Sayori. He didn't even know when it began, didn't even really come to terms with it until fairly recently. He chuckled again. _How did I not notice every lyric I wrote was about her? That any time I made a song, I did it to see her smile? Man, I've gotta be the most dense person in the world, huh?_

He stopped and looked up, seeing that he'd instinctively walked to Sayori's house. He started to laugh, but quickly cut himself off when he saw Sayori's light still on. A sense of guilt washed over him. _Is she awake because of our talk today? It's probably depression-induced insomnia or something... I think I read that it's a side-effect in an article somewhere. _His stomach sank. _Is she okay?_

He took a few steps back into the road to see if maybe he could see her in there (_Well, this probably looks suspect as hell_), but he couldn't see her. His face scrunched. _A normal person would just walk home and talk to her about it tomorrow... but this isn't right. _He sighed and, with a determined look, opened the gate and knocked on her front door.

_Shit, no response... I wonder... _He wrapped his fingers around the door knob and gave it a twist, to discover it was unlocked. He took a look at the neighbor houses to make sure nobody was watching and let out another sigh. _Welp, worst case scenario, breaking and entering isn't THAT serious of a felony, right? _He entered.

Xoxoxoxoxo

"Hey, hurry up ya big dummy!"

"Shin! You're going too fast!"

"C'mon, you're the one who wanted to go!"

Shin ran as fast as his 9 year old legs would take him, leaving his best friend in a cloud of his dust, laughing the whole way. After a while he finally stopped, Sayori finally catching up a moment later.

"Jerk!" She huffed. "You know... I'm not... as fast... as you!"

Shinsuke let out a hearty laugh. "Gotta make sure of that every now and again. Anyway, why did you wanna come here?"

He looked at the fountain before him. Even at a young age, he had to appreciate how beautiful it was. A large, stone basin with eight sides sat as it's base, with withered statues of turtles in each of the corners spouting water out of their mouths. In the center sat a stone column, with two smaller basins rising up. A magnificent jet of water shot out of the top of it.

"Because this fountain's special, silly!" Sayori chirped.

Shin rolled his eyes. "Lemme guess, if I flip a coin in, I get a wish, right?"

"Even better! ...wait, do you actually not know what this fountain is?"

"Umm... it's just the fountain at our local park, dummy."

Now Sayori rolled her eyes. "No, silly, this is friendship fountain!"

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Shin slowly walked up the stairs to Sayori's room, thankful that her parents were out of town (_What's new, there?_), making this a little less awkward for him.

"Hey..." Shin spoke, trying not to be too loud as so not to startle his friend. "Hey Sayori, are you still up?"

_That was a dumb question bro. _He stopped in front of her door and took a deep breath before knocking lightly.

"Hey Sayori? Hey, I know this is weird, but I've just got this nagging feeling that something isn't right and... I dunno, I guess I just really want to see you right now." He looked up at the ceiling, trying to think of the words to say. She had to think he was crazy. "Look, I just feel really bad about how everything went earlier, and I just... I really wanna talk to you right now."

No response. He sighed and knocked again, a little harder this time.

"C'mon, Sayori, I know you're up and I know that you don't want me to worry about you, but I need to see you. I need to know you're okay."

Still nothing. He took another deep breath. _She really leaves me no choice. _His fingers wrapped around the doorknob, and he slowly creeked the door open.

"Sayo-"

xoxoxoxoxoxo

"Friendship fountain?" Shinsuke gave his dearest friend a puzzled look. He'd lived here all his life, played at this park a hundred times, but he'd never heard of this before.

Sayori giggled. "You're cute when you're curious, you know that?"

Shin's eyes darted toward the ground. "Shut up! I'm not cute, I'm a badass!"

Sayori gasped. "Shinsuke Tanahashi, you just said a swear!"

He rolled his eyes again. "Whatever, just tell me about the fountain, dingus."

"Jeez, how have you never heard?" Sayori's eyes lit up. "They say that if you and someone you care about a whooooole lot put a coin in here together, then they'll become friends for the rest of their lives!"

Shin's heart started beating a little faster. "Y-you care about me that much?"

"Uh huh." Sayori looked more serious than Shin had ever seen her before. "You're my best friend, Shinsuke. You play with me every day, and you always share your food, and you're always so nice to me!"

"I literally call you an idiot once a day."

"Yeah, but I know you're just playing around. I know under that big, tough exterior, you're the nicest boy in the wor- hey, are you blushing?"

The slight reddish tinge spread across his cheeks ignited into a tomato-hued inferno as Shinsuke looked away as quickly as he could. "No, badasses don't blush, shut up!"

Sayori laughed, but continued, this time a much lighter reaction on her face. "Anyway, you're my best friend Shin, and I want us to be best friends forever. Unless..." she brushed a lock of her pinkish-blonde hair out of her eyes, revealing that she was clutching onto a coin. "...unless you don't want to be best friends forever... never mind, why would you wanna be best friends with an idiot like me forever?"

Her eyes darted toward the ground as she went to put the coin back in her pocket, but Shinsuke's hand softly grabbed onto hers before she could. Her eyes darted up toward him, revealing a big, goofy smile that stretched from ear to ear, his cheeks still glowing red.

"Hey, you're an idiot, but you're my idiot!"

"Eh?" Sayori's eyes shot wide open.

"I mean, like... I guess..." Shinsuke felt the confidence fade as quickly as it had built up, but he couldn't back out now. "Sayori, you're my... I guess I..."

She looked up at him with puppy dog eyes glimmering with hope and Shinsuke inhaled deeply. "What I'm trying to say is... I can't think of anyone else I'd rather be best friends with forever."

"But Shin..." she looked away again. "Forever is a reeeeally long time."

"Good." He wouldn't understand the tight feeling in his chest, the butterflies in his stomach, or the warm feeling that enveloped him until later in his life, but he knew whatever it was, he only got that way with Sayori. "Because we're gonna be best friends for a million, billion years!"

He expected his best friend to break out into her trademark smile, but she looked up at him with an almost sad look in her eyes. "Do you promise?"

He lifted her and and wrapped his other palm around it. "Promise." He nodded toward the lake. "So... um, do we... do we do it together?"

"I think so." Sayori smiled weakly as they walked to the edge of the fountain. They each took an end of the coin before dropping it together at the count of 3 into the fountain with a satisfying "bloop". Suddenly, Sayori's arms wrapped around Shin, and she started crying.

"This is the happiest I've ever been, Shinsuke, thank you!"

He wanted to make fun of her for crying, but for the first time ever, he resisted the urge to tease Sayori. Instead, he awkwardly returned the hug. He wasn't sure how long forever was, really, but he was absolutely certain that this is who he wanted as his best friend for that time.

Xoxoxoxoxoxo

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

He had no idea what was going to greet him when he opened the door, but the limp body of his best friend dangling from the ceiling sure as shit wasn't it. Every nerve and atom within him erupted in panic. His body began to shake, his eyes burned like a roaring inferno as tears began to flood from his eyes, but the reality of the situation quickly snapped back to him.

"No. No no no no no. No, not like this. Please, God, fuck no..."

His eyes darted around the room before spotting a knife sitting on Sayori's desk. He lunged for it as quickly as he could and flipped it open before setting the chair back up and wrapping his arm around Sayori. He lifted her up one armed enough to give the rope some slack- a feat that he would later attribute solely to adrenaline- and furiously sawed away at the rope.

"C'mon, c'mon, you mother fucker COME THE FUCK ON!"

Finally, he cut through the rope. He dropped the knife carelessly to the floor and quickly moved his other arm around Sayori, too, making sure that she didn't crash to the floor. He moved her to the bed as quickly as he could and started softly shaking her shoulder.

"Sayori... Sayori, please wake up..." He looked at her chest to see if it was rising at all, but he couldn't really tell. A sense of dread filled him.\

"Please wake up, Sayori. I can't do this shit without you! Please, I fucking need you!" Still nothing. He buried his head into her chest and began violently shaking, sobbing, screaming.

"GODDAMMT SAYORI, you agreed to be my friend for MILLION, BILLION YEARS! I love you Sayori, OKAY? I should have told you earlier but I didn't because I'm a fucking idiot but I love you and I've loved you for years and I need you so fucking much, and I just... Sayori, please..."

"Shin... suke?"

He looked up to see her eyes just barely open. The life in her eyes was flickering, but it was there. He made a noise of relief and hugged her like she'd float away if he let go.

"Sayori, I thought I fucking lost you, and I can't lose you! I can't do this alone. I thought you were..." he found himself unable to finish his sentence.

"I'm... I'm sorry Shin..."

He let go of the hug and pulled away to see tears beginning to pour out of Sayori's eyes. "You should have never met me, Shinsuke. Everything would have been better if you never met me..."

"Shut the fuck up!" Sayori gasped as Shinsuke's face contorted into a mix of rage and pain. "Just shut the fuck up, okay? I know I've been a dick and I know I never tell you how important you are to me, but you are my fucking WORLD okay? Do you have any IDEA what would happen to me if I lost you? Do you have any idea what you've done for me?"

He thrusted a finger toward the crumpled up noose sitting on Sayori's floor. "That would have been me a million goddamn times in middle school if it weren't for you? Fuck, that could have been me a few weeks ago until you forced me to get out of my room! You have any idea who I am without you? I'm just some mean ass punk fuck without a friend in the world, but you bring out the best in me, Sayori! You've always brought out the best in me, and I guess I've always been too scared to tell you how important you are, but you're the most important person in the world to me, Sayori, okay, goddammit?"

Shinsuke sharply inhaled before gesturing toward the window. "And hey, fuck, it's not just me that gives a shit, okay? Do you think Monika could run that club by herself? Huh? With Yuri and Natsuki's butting personalities, you really think we'd be able to go on without you? You think you aren't worth the time and effort, you think that you have nothing to offer this world, but the truth is everything would suck without you! Losing you would ruin everything, okay? Everything! The club, the school, the neighborhood, my life, you're the glue that holds all that together, Sayori, and I can't fucking lose you, okay?"

There was a palpable silence that hung over the room before a soft sob from Sayori broke it.

"Shinsuke, I'm so sorry... you must think I'm the most selfish..."

He cut her off by pulling her into a tight hug once more. "Sayori, I think you're an angel whose been going through hell by herself for way too long. I know you don't want me to care, but that's what a best friend is supposed to do."

"...you don't hate me?"

"Sayori, you could end the world and I couldn't hate you." He pulled back just enough to be able to look into her eyes. "I promised to be your best friend forever, and this doesn't change that. Your depression hasn't changed that, and it never will." His eyes darted toward the bed. "I know I haven't been the best about showing that, though-"

"No, Shinsuke..."

"No, it's true, Sayori. I've been a real asshole, letting us drift so far apart. Insulting you all the time, even if it's just a joke. I wouldn't be surprised if you honestly DID think I hated you, and I'm a real piece of shit for that."

"No you're not..."

"Yes I am, Sayori. God, what kind of a friend am I, to let you suffer alone like this..."

It was her turn to embrace Shinsuke, though she certainly didn't have the strength to hold onto him as tightly as she wanted. "Stop, okay? Stop being so MEAN to yourself! Please?"

Sayori started lightly coughing. Shinsuke pulled away and really looked at her neck for the first time, and he couldn't help but wince at the deep bruising he saw.

"Look, Sayori, we need to get you to a hospital."

Her eyes filled with panic. "No, no I can't..."

"You just tried to fucking hang yourself, Sayori." A grim seriousness that she'd never heard before rested in his voice. "Look, I can only imagine how scary this is for you, but I _need _to know you're going to be okay, okay? If not for yourself... can you do me this one favor?"

"Shinsuke..."

"Please?" He smiled weakly. "C'mon, I just saved your life, you owe me one."

She met his concerned gaze and he saw a fear in her eyes more vibrant and visceral than any he'd ever seen. "Shinsuke, I'm scared..."

He let out a light chuckle. "Yeah, well you're not alone on that, and you're not gonna be alone there, either."

"What?"

"Because I'm gonna be by your side the whole time. Ambulance ride, hospital room and whatever comes next, I'm gonna be right there by your side, okay?

"...why?"

Shinsuke felt his heart break a little. _Man, does she really think that lowly of herself? _"Because I..." _No, no, now's not the time to tell her THAT! _"...because you'd do the same thing for me, right?"

"Of course" she said without a moment of hesitation, which forced him to break out into a big, genuine smile.

"Because we're best friends. For at least the next million billion years, yeah?"

She giggled as best she could. "Yeah, definitely."

"So what do you say? Can I call an ambulance now?"

She glanced away. "Do you promise you'll be there?"

Shinsuke took Sayori's chin and lifted it so they were looking each other in the eye.

"Every step of the way"

**A/N: Obviously, I don't own Smokie Dokie Get-Lit Club. I have plans to continue this story, since none of the fluffy stuff here really does it for me or remains unfinished, but I make no promises. I can, of course, be bribed with reviews and coin... okay, I'm kidding about the coin... unless...**


	2. Chapter 2

"Mr. Tanahashi... Mr. Tanahashi, wake up!"

Shinsuke opened his eyes to find that he was still in the waiting room of the hospital, a nurse standing over him. _Crap, I didn't mean to fall asleep._

The nurse smiled. "Mr. Tanahashi, she's awake."

"She is?!" Shinsuke jumped out of his chair. "Is she doing okay? There isn't any permanent damage is there?"

The nurse looked down at her chart. "Well, there's going to be some pretty nasty bruising for a while longer, but that'll heal in time. Other than that, your friend is perfectly fine, physically that is." She looked up with a smile. "She's lucky that you showed up when you did, any longer and I'm not sure that would have been the case."

Shinsuke breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank god."

"You've had a long night, haven't you, Mr. Tanahashi?"

He couldn't help but laugh at the question. "Yeah... yeah, I guess you can say that."

Her eyes flicked back down the chart as her smile broadened. "Well... would you like to see her?"

"Can I?" He blurted much more eager- and frankly, much louder- than he'd meant to, before slapping a hang over his mouth. "Um, sorry..."

The nurse laughed. "You're more than fine, Mr. Tanahashi, follow me."

Shinsuke and the nurse walked through the halls, a mix of excitement and anxiety flowing through his veins. Sure, whatever state she was in now was going to be better than earlier (he shuddered at the memory), but he knew that they weren't out of the woods yet. It was gonna be a long time before things were okay, but he was prepared for that. Well, as prepared as any 17 year old could be in this situation. Finally he found himself in front of her door. He thanked the nurse and took a deep breath.

_Well... can't be worse than earlier, right? _He knocked.

Xoxoxoxoxoxo

Shinsuke sat against the wall, head buried into his knees. His middle school let out a half hour ago, but he didn't want to go home yet. What was the point? To see an empty chair, and an emptier shell of his father? _Pfft, fuck that. I'm never going home again! _He tried to let anything else fill his mind, tried to focus on the music blaring through his headphones, but everything returned to a few nights ago. Screaming. Furniture being thrown. Broken glass.

"SHIN!"

He ripped a headphone out and looked up to see Sayori standing there, a look of concern on her face. He scoffed.

"What do you want?"

"She left for good, didn't she?"

He looked up at her, frustration flushed across his face. "What does it matter, Sayori?"

"Shinsuke, she's your mom..."

Xoxoxoxoxoxo

"Come in."

Her voice was weak, but Shinsuke was prepared for that much. What he wasn't ready for was just how... small she looked. Sayori was practically swimming in her hospital gown, her usually messy-but-presentable hair was plastered to her head with sweat, and she was curled up in the fetal position. He felt his heart break all over again.

"Hey, Sayori..."

"Shin!" Her eyes brightened up immediately. She tried to sit herself up, but was still too weak to move. Shinsuke frowned, remembering how he had to carry Sayori down the stairs before the ambulance arrived. He hurried over to her bedside and helped position her to a sitting position.

"Thank you." She whispered.

"Yeah, no problem." He sat down next to her and started fiddling with his thumbs. "So, um... I know this is a REALLY stupid question, but how are you?"

"I'm better now that you're here." He looked up and saw a mist already beginning to form in his best friends eyes. "You actually stayed, Shinsuke."

"Of course I did, Sayori." He placed his hand on the edge of the bed, and she interlaced her fingers with his. "Like I said, I need to know you're okay, and I'm not leaving your side when you need me."

"But why, Shin?"

"Because you're my fri-"

"But WHY?" She let go of him and buried her face into her hands. "I know we've known each other for a long time, but there's so many other interesting, smart people in the world. I'm just... me. Just clumsy Sayori."

He sighed, letting a memory play through his mind that he'd tried to suppress for year, before speaking slowly, deliberately, carefully considering every word that came out of his mouth.

"Sayori, you are my closest and dearest friend because even when everybody else in the world abandoned me, you stuck around. No matter how dark, how mean I got, you stayed by my side. Even when I wanted you to leave me alone, you knew when I needed you most."

"What do you mean?"

"Look at me, Sayori."

She lowered her hands, revealing the tears that'd been streaming down her cheeks, but she felt some relief when she saw just how soft his face was.

"Do you remember the day after my Mom left?"

xoxoxoxoxoxo

He lifted himself off the ground, furious that Sayori would even DARE bring HER up, and calling her that name...

"She's not my fucking Mom, Sayori!" He screamed. She flinched, but he didn't care. "The bitch whose been cheating on my Dad, sure! The monster that completely destroyed him, yeah, she's that! The asshole that breaks all my shit, breaks everything around the house, that hits my old man, that hits me, sure, but she is NOT my fucking MOM! She never HAS been and she never WILL be and I'M HAPPY that she's gone, okay?"

He spun around and punched the brick wall behind him as hard as he could. He knew as soon as knuckle met brick that he broke something, but he didn't care. He liked the pain. "I'll be just fine without her, just like I've ALWAYS been! Okay? I'm HAPPY alone! I'M BETTER ALONE! I'm... I'm..."

He dropped down to his knees and realized that he was openly weeping. He looked up, expecting to see the 12 year old girl before him terrified, but instead was met with a look of sympathy and sorrow. The anger dissipated and he completely broke down.

"Why doesn't she love me, Sayori?"

That triggered the water works in her, as well. She dropped to her knees, as well, and embraced Shinsuke.

"I'm sorry, Shin. I knew she was mean, but... I didn't know."

He wanted to respond, but every time he tried to speak, all that came out were wails of agony and pain and emotion he'd tried so hard to suppress. He felt pathetic. _Yeah, you're a real badass, Shin. Crying like a bitch._

"You're not a bitch, okay?"

Shinsuke gasped, partially because he didn't even know Sayori COULD swear, partially because he didn't mean to say that out loud.

"I always wondered why you had to act so big and tough all the time... it's because you were afraid of her, isn't it?"

Under any other circumstances he would have denied this up and down, but he nodded. _Fuck it, I can't really deny it now, can I?_

She held on a little tighter. "What happened to you isn't right. What happened to your Dad isn't right. What she did isn't right."

"It's my fault, Sayori."

"Shin..."

"No it is!" He clutched on to her jacket, shaking violently with every breath he took. "She always yelled, but she only got violent after I told Dad she was having an affair. If I would have kept my stupid fucking mouth shut-"

"Shin, stop!"

"He hates me, I know he does-"

"Who?"

"My dad! He hates me for telling him! He thinks it's my fault, too."

He pulled back. "He can't even look at me, Sayori, because I look just like her!"

She frowned, but she couldn't quite deny that last point. His thick hair, his almond-shaped green eyes, his thin nose... all things he got from his mom.

"Nobody in the world loves me, Sayori." With those words, he felt all the energy in his body leave. His shoulders slumped, his head fell into his chest and he fell back into the wall. "Nobody..."

"...I love you, Shinsuke."

He looked up at her, confused, as she continued. "I mean, you're my best friend, Shinsuke, and I love you very much."

He brought his knees back up and buried his face back into them. She slumped down the wall next to him and wrapped her arms around him. He leaned into it, and the two were silent for a while before Shinsuke finally spoke.

"I don't want to go home, Sayori."

"Then don't."

"Eh?" He looked up and was greeted with a soft smile.

"You can come stay the night at my house! It's Friday, and I already know my parents won't mind, they both really like you?"

He couldn't help but snort. "Yeah right, they probably think I'm a punk."

She rolled her eyes. "Sure, my mom might think you're a little rough around the edges, but they always say that you're like a part of the family. They care about you, too, Shin."

He stayed silent for a moment before finally looking up. "You sure?"

She giggled. "Of course I'm sure! Now c'mon, silly, let's go!"

The two got up and began walking before Shinsuke stopped. Sayori spun around, worried.

"Shin, are you okay?" 

"Yeah, just..." _Shit, what do I say?_ "I guess... um... I just appreciate this, is all... you dummy."

xoxoxoxoxoxo

"We watched Tangled after we came back from the hospital." Sayori's lips curled into a bittersweet smile.

"Uh huh. Two broken knuckles and a new favorite Disney movie." He took her hand once more.

"Sayori, I honestly felt like nobody in the world cared about me, and every day you made it your mission to prove me wrong. Sleepovers, dinners with your family, hanging out after school... heck, you kept me away from home pretty much that whole school year."

"How is your Dad, anyway?"

He couldn't help but chuckle. _Everything she's been through tonight, and she's still worried about him. _"He's better, now. I mean, he's a workaholic, and I think that's because he still doesn't like being in the same house that SHE lived in, but he's not that bad anymore." He exhaled out of his nose. "He can at least look at me now... but I digress." Shin shook his head lightly to clear his thoughts before continuing on.

"The point I'm trying to make is that... well, even when I was at my most unlovable, you stuck around. All my other friends stopped hanging out with me around then, but you didn't. Even on those days where all I wanted to do was sit in my room, be miserable and play video games, you were right there, weren't you?"

"Yeah.." She spoke softly, as if she'd break if she gave herself too much credit. "..yeah, I guess I did?"

"You guess? If I wasn't at your house, or we weren't having an adventure, you would sit on my bed and just watch me for hours."

"I didn't want you to be alone anymore, Shinsuke."

"Even though I was an asshole, you made sure I wasn't alone. No matter what mean shit I said to you, you stuck around."

"I know you didn't mean it, Shinsuke-"

"That doesn't make it right, Sayori." He cleared his throat, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. "I... ah, I never apologized for any of that."

"You don't have to do that, Shinsuke."

"I feel like I do." He looked at her, guilt stretched from ear to ear. "You were always so... so cool to me, and I was a real jerk back. You never deserved any of that, Sayori, and I really am sorry. All the times I called you an idiot, called you stupid, called you worse... I'm sorry for all of it."

She put her hand on top of his. Shin took the hint and slid his fingers between hers. "It's okay, Shin... I mean, you're right, you did say some really mean things, but you were hurting really bad. I know I've done things I regret when I was upset..." her other hand reached toward the bruises on her neck. "...but you got better, yeah?"

"Huh?"

She smiled. "I mean, you can still be a little rough around the edges at time, and I know that you still carry some of that burden... I think that's why you're always so mean to yourself... but you're nicer now. You don't spend all day in your room. You're getting better... and that means I can get better too, right?"

He remained silent for a second, wanting to correct her on his "getting better", but quickly decided maybe that was a talk for another day. She needed hope right now.

"You're damn right you can, Sayori."

The two shared a comfortable silence, just happy to be in the other's presence, before Sayori finally spoke up.

"Um... Shin, I think you should go to the festival today?"

"What?!" He looked up with surprise. "No. HELL no! I'm not leaving your si-"

"Shin." He stopped and listened to her. "I appreciate it, but Monika, Natsuki and Yuri are going to need your help today. They all worked really hard on today, I don't want that to get ruined because of me."

"...are you sure?"

She smiled warmly. "It's okay, Shinsuke. Honestly... I'm scared to have you leave, but the doctors and nurses are gonna take care of me, right?"

"Right."

"So you should go help our friends."

He was quiet for a minute, contemplating what she'd just said. "If you're sure... but as soon as it's over, I'll be back here with you, okay?"

She beamed at him. "Really?"

Shinsuke returned the smile. "Really. Like I said, I'm gonna be with you the whole ride!"

The two embraced again, and he went to leave the hospital room, but stopped just before opening the door. "Um, Sayori?"

"Yeah?"

He put a hand on the back of his neck and rubbed it sheepishly. "Um... I just wanted to say sorry for how much I swore last night. I know you're not a huge fan of curse words, and I..."

"Shinsuke Tanahashi," she said, almost amused, "after everything you went through last night, you're apologizing to ME for SWEARING?"

"Well, yeah." He muttered. "You don't like it."

She softly laughed. "And you think you're not a total sweetheart."

"Right... um, anyway, I'll see you later, Sayori..." He was happy that he was already facing the door, or she would have seen just how crimson his cheeks were.


	3. Chapter 3

Shinsuke checked his phone as he opened his front door, relieved to see that he still had an hour and a half before he had to head to school. He marched right to the bathroom, stripped down and took a long, hot shower, washing away the stress and worry of the night. Once he'd finished the metamorphosis to become a prune from head to toe, he toweled himself off and walked to his room, not bothering to cover up since he already knew he was home alone. He picked out a clean uniform and started to dress before finally catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He first noticed that his hair was getting too long for his liking, then the bags under his eyes. Other than the 20 or 30 minutes he caught in the waiting room he didn't rest that night. For a split second, he considered cutting class today, but quickly threw the idea aside and decided that he'd make an extra strong pot of coffee.

Realizing that he didn't have as much time as he would have liked, he grabbed his backpack and rushed down to the kitchen once he was dressed. As he promised himself, he started to brew a cup of Joe, and threw a few pieces of bread in the toaster, as well. As he waited, he opened his backpack and double checked to make sure that everything he needed was in there. Several packages of napkins for Natsuki, a few candles for Yuri, plus he needed to run back by Sayori's to grab some pamphlets for Monika, she'd texted him. _When did she find time to grab her phone? _He moved everything back in his backpack, and couldn't help but smile. _Old man might not be around much, but he always makes sure I've got money for whatever random crap I need. _He scrunched his face up. _Maybe I'm too hard on the ol' bastard. _Before he could continue that train of thought, the toaster popped and the coffee pot dinged within seconds of each other. Glancing once more at the time, he muttered a swear word, poured the coffee into his favorite thermos as quickly as possible, grabbed his toast and bounded out the door.

He popped in and out of Sayori's house as quick as he could, thankful that the pamphlets were on the kitchen counter so he wouldn't have to re-enter her room, then kept a jog going the whole way, stopping only to take a bite of his toast or sip the coffee. Part of it was that he genuinely was running late (_Jeez, just how long did I sit in the shower for, anyway?_), partially because walking to school without Sayori under the current circumstances was uncomfortable, at best. His thoughts kept juggling between the festival and Sayori, though it wasn't long until his best friend became the dominant worry. He wondered how she was doing, what the doctors and nurses were doing with her. She had to be terrified up there all by herself, and that ate him alive, but he was doing what she asked him to do. That brought him some comfort.

Despite his best efforts, he still walked into the school a few minutes late. He made a B-line to the section of the gym that the Literature Club's booth for the festival was located, stopping only to fix his hair quickly in a mirror in the hallways. Finishing his coffee, he finally found his other three clubmates and walked up to them. Yuri and Monika waved at him, while Natsuki spun around with a snarky comment.

"Jeez, about time you two..." she winced when she saw Shin. "Jeez, you're looking rough!"

He laughed. "Thanks, Natsuki. Appreciate that."

"Um," Yuri chimed in softly, "with all due respect, Natsuki is kind of right. Are you okay, Shinsuke?"

He exhaled. "Long night, to put it lightly. But no need to worry!" He plopped his backpack down on the table they'd been loaned for the festival and opened it up, pulling everything out. "I've got your napkins, and your candles, and I've got those pamphlets right here, Monika..."

"Where's Sayori?" Natsuki barked. "She better not have overslept again!"

"She, um..." Shin hadn't actually prepared himself for that question. He knew it wasn't his place to tell the others what was going on with Sayori, but he didn't want to exactly lie, either. "...she's not feeling good. Had to stay home today." A half truth wasn't the worst thing in the world, he rationalized.

Natsuki huffed. "Psh, typical Sayori."

Before she could continue, Monika gently put her hand on Natsuki's shoulder. "The festival was just as important to Sayori as the rest of us, Natsuki. I'm sure if she's not here, then she really must not be feeling well."

Natsuki huffed before grabbing the napkins and beginning to set up little paper plates with all sorts of different sweets, angrily mumbling to herself.

"She's not too ill, is she?" Yuri asked, concerned. "She's going to be okay?"

"I hope so..." Shin muttered beneath his breath, before catching himself. He smiled at Yuri as convincingly as he could. "I mean, yeah, of course she's gonna be okay!"

He tried to laugh it off, but the look of concern on Yuri's face said she wasn't buying it. "Okay, Shinsuke, I trust you." Soon enough, though, she began to work her magic on the space, lighting candles and incense and setting up her decorations. Shin breathed a sigh of relief before looking over at Monika.

"Right, so Natsuki's got snacks and Yuri's got decorations, is there anything you need me to do, Monika?"

"Yes, actually," Monika said in a sing-song voice. "I could actually use your help. The staff were kind enough to lend us a row of chairs for our presentations, but I certainly can't move them all by myself. Would you be willing to help me?"

"Yeah, totally!" Shinsuke smiled. The two exited the gym and walked for a while until they were in an empty hallway. Monika then stopped and faced Shin, the carefree expression on her face fading away.

"Shinsuke, how is she?"

"Huh?" He realized who he meant and continued to try and downplay it. "Oh, right, it's nothing, Monika. She's just a little..."

"Shin, it's very admirable that you're not sharing her secrets, but it's okay. She texted me this morning... she told me everything."

"Oh... right." He walked over to a bench and sat down, letting his body slump. Monika sat down next to him, now concerned for too people once she saw just how tired Shin was.

"I mean... I think she's okay?" Shin shook his head. "I mean, obviously she's not okay, but... she's safe. That's something, right?"

Monika nodded, before averting her gaze away. "And how are you?"

He laughed. "Honestly, I feel like shit. My best friend hates herself, and I didn't notice until it was almost too late."

"I can only imagine how horrible it was, finding her like that..." Suddenly, Monika bursed into tears. Shin jumped back a bit at first, startled, but soon enough put his hand on her back. Finally she looked up.

"This is all my fault, Shinsuke!"

"Monika, of course it isn't your fault."

"No, you don't understand." She sniffled before looking away again. "I've known about Sayori's... condition.. for a while. I did the best I could but... I'm just one person, Shin." She sobbed again before continuing. "I thought that... well, maybe if she talked to you, it would make everything better. I didn't realize that opening up like that would be so triggering. I didn't know... I didn't... that she'd... Shin, she could have... and it would have been my fault."

"Hey, hey, Monika, hey." He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her in. "You did what you thought was best. You're right, you are just one person, and I'm sure you went above and beyond helping her out." Her face still showed guilt, so he continued. "And hey, I'm happy I know now, because now I can help out, too, yeah?"

"I c-c-can only imagine... how h-horrible it must have b-b-been seeing her... like that... you s-s-shouldn't have seen that... should've been m-m-me..."

"Monika, c'mon."

"I could've lost one of my only friends, and it would have been on me. And the club would have broken up, and I would have been alone again..."

A lot of things clicked in Shinsuke's head all at once. The bittersweet look in her eyes, a million little comments, the fact that Shin NEVER saw Monika with anyone but the club members, and even that was only in the club...

"You're really lonely, aren't you Monika?"

She looked up at him, bewildered. "You c-c-care about me? After everything you've b-been through? After what I d-d-did?"

He scooted off the bench and squatted down so he could look Monika in the eyes. "You tried to help my best friend when she needed it most, so yes. Beyond that, you're my friend too, Monika."

"Really?" She said, amazed.

"Really. I'm sorry you even have to ask that question." He tried to remember a time that he'd actually hung out with Monika alone, but not a single instance came to him. He'd read manga with Natsuki, and that really big, smart people book with Yuri, and he didn't even need to mention all the time he'd spent with Sayori, but not Monika. He drummed his fingers across his knees. "I guess I haven't really shown is that much, though. Starting to think I need to get better at expressing my emotions, but whatever. You never did answer my question, though."

She looked down at her skirt, fiddling with the edges. "I mean... I guess I am. I don't really see anyone outside of clubs and school functions, and my parent's aren't around that much..."

"Jeez, seems to be a theme here." He smiled as he sat back down on the bench, his knees growing tired. "What are we, the literature club, or the parent-are-never-fucking-home club?"

"Shin! Language!" She accosted him, but she couldn't help but break up the tears with a warm, genuine laugh.

"Right, sorry." He turned a little so he was completely facing Monika. "Tell you what, why don't we kick it outside of school some time?"

Monika's face was a mix of shock and bliss. "What? You mean... you actually WANT to hang out with me?"

"Man, between you and Sayori, you'd think that I just hang around because I wanna torture myself!" He nudged her side. "C'mon, Monika, of course I wanna hang out with you." _Hmm, maybe avoid that phrase for a bit. _"Um, I mean spend time with you... sorry."

She raised her hand as if to say "it's okay" before speaking again. "Well... actually, I was going to ask if I could join you in seeing Sayori today? When we were texting earlier, she mentioned that one of the nurses said she could have two visitors at a time and... well, if you didn't mind..."

"Of course I don't mind." Shin tried to reassure her. "Honestly, having somebody as well-spoken as you there would save my ass..." he noticed the glare she shot at him. "...sorry, save my butt a whole lot. I don't know what's gotten into me today, but I'm not usually the best talker... you think it's the lack of sleep? You think I should sleep less?"

She giggled. "I think that as soon as we're done visiting Sayori, you better go straight to bed."

He flashed a half smile. "Well, who am I to deny a direct order from our Club President? Now where are these chairs you were talking about?"

"Oh!" She stook up and dabbed at her eyes with her sleeves. "Well, truthfully, they're actually not that heavy. I just wanted to talk to you about what had happened."

"...so there aren't any chairs?"

"Oh no, there are, but I can handle it, Shinsuke."

He tutted. "C'mon, it wouldn't be fishy if I showed back up without any chairs and let you do anything? At best, that makes me look like a jerk, and I have no problems doing that on my own, thanks!"

She laughed, her voice no longer tinged with even the slightest bit of sorrow. "You raise a point there, Shinsuke! Well, let's not keep the others waiting, then!"

xoxoxoxoxoxo

For the parts of it he could focus on, the festival this year was really good. Some of the kids from the basketball played a really entertaining game of HORSE for everyone to watch, the music club gave out mystery bags (Shin got lucky and had a pack of guitar strings in his, which he desperately needed) and there was any kind of food you could dream of. Sweet, savory, salty, they even had Squid! Shin took care to put a few of the samples in some ziplock bags he'd stashed away so he could bring them to Sayori later.

Before he was ready, it was time for the Literature Club to do their poetry recitals. He didn't realize how nervous he was about it until he was already sitting on their little platform, and didn't realize how unprepared he was until Yuri was reading her poem.

"Umm, Monika?" He leaned over and whispered. "Um, I don't know how to say this, but I forgot my..."

She slid him a piece of paper. He looked down and, sure enough, the poem he'd written was there. His jaw dropped. "How did you..."

"When you emailed it to me, I printed it off." She whispered back. "You were the only one who wrote an original poem for this, other than myself, so I thought I'd do it just in case."

"You're an ace, Monika!" The relief quickly faded away, as his once chance to get out of this faded away before his eyes. He tried his best to pay attention to the girls' poems to keep distracted, and he'd actually managed to pay attention to most of Yuri's reciting of Poe's Annabelle Lee. However, he'd started zoning a bit when Natsuki read a poem about puppies, and he couldn't tell you what Monika's poem was about, although he thinks he heard some computer metaphor?

Before he was ready, he was standing in front of the microphone. Thankfully there were only 50 students and a few school faculty there, but he might as well been in front of the whole school, how nervous he was. He eventually cleared his throat.

"Um, hi everyone." He glanced at the ground before looking at the piece of paper in his hand. "So, um, usually there's music and that goes with this but, ah, you know, this isn't the music club." He chuckled a bit before realizing just how hard he was blowing it. He cleared his throat again. "Right, um... this is called Summer Somewhere.

_Another sleepless night, waiting for me_

_A million and one regrets, slowly creeping_

_Would you like to hit the bar? Just the two of us_

_Is it obvious I'm not right? I don't mean to fuss_

_But_

_My head keeps spinnin' round'_

_these wicked thoughts_

_I just can't shake them_

_It's slowly replaying_

_These washed out dreams_

_I can't replace them_

_My mind keeps replaying_

_These washed out dreams_

_And distant memories_

_Late in the night screaming_

_Telling myself_

"_Hey, it's Summer Somewhere"_

_I can't keep holding on_

_To all these dreams_

_And scattered memories_

_Late in the night screaming_

_Telling myself_

"_Hey, it's Summer Somewhere"_

_No longer holding on_

_To washed out dreams_

_And vapor memories_

_Late in the night screaming_

_desperately_

"_Yeah, hey, it's Summer Somewhere"_

**A/N: Forgive me if that bit at the end was cringe. I never thought that lyrics were my strong suit. However, those are the lyrics to an actual song that I wrote and released, so neat?**

**Plz no steal my cringe song. Or if you do, at least make more money with it than I am!**


	4. Chapter 4

Shinsuke waited at the front gate of the high school, hands in his pockets, waiting on Monika. Cleaning up after the festival only took a short while, but she'd wanted to grab some things from her locker and use the restroom, so he elected to wait outside. He was thankful that the festival went off without a hitch, knowing that fact would bring Sayori an amount of peace. Sure, there was an awkward moment when Shin accidentally spilled wax from Yuri's candle onto one of Natsuki's cookies, but he'd managed to diffuse that situation by taking a big bite out of it. The fact that he almost didn't want to spit it out really spoke wonders for Natsuki's baking. He laughed to himself, eager to tell Sayori the story.

"Hey, Shin!" He looked over to see Monika jogging forward, dressed in her uniform from the waist-up, but wearing a pair of simple black leggings under her skirt now. "Sorry to keep you waiting, are you ready to go?"

"Uh huh!" he kicked himself off the wall he was leaning on and flashed a grin. "It's just a couple blocks up the road here, you okay walking?"

"Of course." She smiled. "I'm not a huge fan of public transportation, anyway. Too many perverts!"

The two walked the first block in comfortable silence before Monika tried to start conversation. "So, you'd mentioned that your poem today came from a song, you're a musician?"

"Um, yeah, you could say that." Shin couldn't help but feel awkward at the question. He'd never really talked about his music with anyone but Sayori and a couple friends he made on Shreddit.

"What do you play?"

"A little guitar," he started rubbing the back of his neck "although I'm not very good at it. I mostly play keys..."

"No way!" Monika bubbled over with laughter. "I play piano, too!"

"Seriously?" Shin felt some of the tension fade away. "You play anything else?"

"Well..." Monika thought for a while. "Well I guess I should first mention that my parents are both musical people, themselves..."

"You're about to list off, like, 20 instruments, aren't you?"

She laughed. "No, no, just six."

He whistled. "Well, let's hear it, then!"

"Well..." She suddenly looked much more unsure of herself than Shin had ever seen Monika look before. "So, I already mentioned piano. I also play a little guitar, but I also play violin, upright bass, drums and saxophone..."

Shin stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes wide as saucers. "Wait a minute, you play sax?!"

"Um, yes..."

He put his hands on her shoulders. "Do you have any idea how long I've been looking for somebody who can play the bendy sex whistle?"

At first she was concerned, but she burst into laughter once she heard what he called the saxophone. "The bendy WHAT, now?"

He played along. "You know, the Horn of Fornication! The sexiest sounding instrument in the world!"

Her giggles continued. "And what exactly do you need a saxophone player for?"

"Well, I've been playing around a lot with retro electronica, and... well, do you know what Outrun Music is?"

She shook her head, but Shin could tell she was curious. "Could you explain?"

"Yeah, can do! Alright, so it's more or less a revival of the 80's sound..." He'd explain the genre as the two finished their walk, Monika being surprisingly interested in the topic, but before they knew it they were in the lobby of the hospital. Shin cleared his throat.

"Um, excuse me, ma'am."

She looked up and smiled. "Hey, you're the gentleman from last night!"

Shin blushed a little, feeling kind of bad for not recognizing the nurse from the night before. "Yes ma'am. I was hoping I'd be able to see my friend Sayori again, I brought another one of our friends to visit her. I thought it might cheer her up."

The nurse nodded. "Of course, sweetheart, you and your friend can go visit as soon as you fill out the visitors form, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am." He nodded. Both he and Monika filled out the form and stuck sticker badges on the jacket of their uniforms before making their way back through the hospital hallways. Maybe it was just the lack of sleep finally getting to him, or maybe he just hadn't noticed earlier, but Shin was very on edge in hospitals. The spotless white corridors, the sterile medical scent that lingered and, of course, the fact that most folks are NEVER at a hospital for a good reason, especially not the emergency wing of it. They reached Sayori's door, and Shin stopped before knocking.

"Um, Monika?"

"Yes, Shinsuke?"

He cleared his throat, trying to think of how to phrase this. "I ah... I guess I just wanted to give you a heads up about... um, about her neck... it doesn't look pretty."

She frowned. "I hadn't even thought about that... no, I suppose it wouldn't be a pretty sight... okay. Thank you for warning me, Shinsuke."

"Yeah, no problem." He knocked on the door and heard Sayori softly respond with a come-in.

"Hey, Sayori, I got a surprise for you!"

Sayori lit up when she heard Shin's voice, and made a strained-yet-excited squee of joy when she saw Monika with him. The two lit up in response, feeling a certain amount of tension and anxiety melt away.

"Shin! You came back! And Monika, you're here, too!"

Monika leaned down over the bed and gave Sayori a tight hug. "Oh, Sayori! How are you doing?"

Sayori released the hug and averted her gaze, trying to hide her shame with a smile. "Oh, you know... I'm good, I guess."

Monika sat down in a chair. "As good as the current situation would allow, I suppose?"

"Yeah..." Sayori sighed and looked up at Monika, tears beginning to form in her eyes. "Monika, I'm really sor-"

"No, no," Monika raised a hand, "I'm the one who should apologize... but that can come later. I believe Shin had another surprise for you, right Shin?"

Shin looked puzzled for a moment before remembering the ziplock bags in his backpack. "Right, yeah!" He slung the bag off his shoulder, gently putting it on the corner of Sayori's bed and unzipping it. He looked over and saw endless curiosity across her face, which made him laugh.

"Well, I figured that you were probably kind of bummed that you missed the festival today, and I can only imagine how crappy the food is here..."

"You didn't?!" Sayori's eyes began to twinkle.

"...so I thought I'd bring the best part of the festival to you!" He said, producing five baggies filled with sweets, treats, savory snacks and whatever else he'd sampled that didn't suck.

Sayori excitedly reached for a bag and opened it, and the scent of festival food quickly filled her hospital room. "Ooooohhhhh, everything looks so good!" She bit into a cookie eagerly, trying to scarf down whatever she could quickly, but she started coughing. Shin rushed to her side and started gently patting her back.

"Calm down, dumm... um, calm down, Sayori. You're throats still pretty... um, rough, so you shouldn't be eating so quickly."

"Right, um, I forgot." She tried to laugh it off, but Shin knew better than to trust it now.

"C'mon, Sayori, no need to beat yourself up over it. Just... slow down, alright?"

"Okay." She ate slower, and even shared her sweets with her two friends. As the three munched, Shin and Monika told Sayori all about the festival and, just as he'd hoped, Sayori quite enjoyed his little wax cookie adventure.

"Man, I wish I could have seen the look on Natsuki's face!" Sayori giggled.

"I don't think I've ever seen Natsuki OR Yuri laugh so hard ever." Monika giggled in response.

After a while, the bags were empty and a silence hung over the room. Shin decided to break the silence and address the elephant in the room. "So, um... Sayori, what did the doctors say."

"Right..." She looked down at her sheet-covered legs, trying to avoid the gaze of Monika and Shinsuke. "..about that. Um... the doctor wants me... uh, he thinks I should..." she started to cry again, then looked up at Shin. "They think I should be in a facility for a little while."

"Eh?" Shinsuke's eyes darted wide open, and he was immediately thankful that he'd brought Monika with him.

"As in an in-patient care facility?" Monika spoke calmly. Sayori nodded, her eyes staring downward again. The club president rose from her chair and gently sat on the corner of Sayori's bed.

"You know, that might not be the worst thing in the world, Sayori." Monika gently spoke.

"I don't know, Monika..."

"Sayori," Monika took one of Sayori's shaking hands and held tight with both of hers, "I'm going to be very honest with you- you need help. I care a lot about you, and I know that Shinsuke does, as well, but at the end of the day, we're high schoolers. I think I can speak for both of us when I say we'd do anything in the world to help..." She looked over at Shin, who gave an affirmative nod. "...but there's only so much that we can do. However, this facility will have doctors, therapists, medication, whatever you need to begin your recovery."

Shin now sat on the other corner of the bed, taking Sayori's other hand in his. "I can only imagine how scary all of this is, Sayori, but I think Monika's right." She finally looked up to meet Shin's eyes, and he smiled. "Look, nothing about this is going to be easy, I'm not going to BS you. It's gonna be a long road to recovery... but every journey starts with the first step, yeah?"

"I guess." Sayori said in barely a whisper. Shin scooted a little closer to her, rubbing the back of her hand with his thumbs, trying to bring whatever comfort he could.

"Right, and it's not like I'm gonna forget about you while you're in there! Unfortunately, I don't think the visiting hours at this facility are going to be as liberal as they are here, but you bet your butt that I'm gonna be there every second that they'll allow me, okay?"

"And so will I!" Monika chimed in. To Sayori she probably sounded cheerful enough, but Shin recognized the sadness in her voice. Sayori was silent for a moment before looking up at the two of them. She was crying, yes, but she was also smiling.

"You two are serious."

"Psh, duh!" Shinsuke tussled Sayori's hair gently, which made her blush.

"Hey, stop that!" Sayori stuck her tongue out at Shin, which made him laugh. A moment later, though, her face fell again and she looked away once more. "Do the others know? Natsuki and Yuri?"

"Nope." Shin said. "Told em' you weren't feeling good."

"You shouldn't have to lie for me, Shin..."

"Whose lying?" Shin said dismissively. "I mean, you're NOT feeling good, and I didn't give any specifics, so I told the truth, and nothing but the truth, your honor!"

"No, Shin," Sayori gave a sad laugh. "I mean, I appreciate that, but I mean that they should know..."

"Are you sure?" Monika said, concern evident in her voice.

Sayori smiled up at her. "Yes, I'm sure. It's like you said with Shin..." Monika blushed, guilt spread across her face. "...they're my friends, and friends help friends." Sayori suddenly looked rather determined. "You were right, I shouldn't have been keeping this a secret from the people who care about me, who can help me." Her face once more fell, though. "I can't do this alone anymore."

"And you don't have to." Monika hugged her strawberry blonde friend again. "I can tell them both the next time we meet up at the Literature Club."

"Thank you, Monika." The two held each other for a while and a comfortable, peaceful silence hung over the room, broken only by a loud yawn from Shinsuke.

"Yeesh, sorry about that."

Sayori and Monika both frowned at Shin, and Monika couldn't help but notice that he looked worse now than when he showed up at the festival earlier.

"Shinsuke, you really should go home and get some rest." Monika said, concerned.

Shin tried to shrug it off. "Nah, I'm fine. Besides, I can't leave my best friend when she needs me, right?"

Sayori smiled at him. "Shin, I appreciate it, but I think Monika's right. You look SO tired right now."

He exhaled through his nose. "Man, that bad, huh?" He looked up at Sayori. "Are you sure you're going to be okay without me here?"

She put her hand upon his and gave it a gentle squeeze. "It's okay, Shin. I've got Monika here, and they'll be moving me over to... um, to the facility in a couple hours, anyway."

"Are you sure you don't want me here for that?"

"You NEED to sleep, Shinsuke." Sayori sounded very concerned, which ultimately was the deciding factor for Shin. Monika walked around the bed and put her hand on Shinsuke's shoulder.

"Shinsuke, you have done SO much good in the past 24 hours, but Sayori's right. You need to rest. I'll take care of Sayori until she goes, and I'll be sure to ask somebody for the address and visiting hours, so that way you can see Sayori again as soon as you can. Does that sound good?"

"Yeah, I guess." He knelt down beside Sayori's bed and took one of her hands. "If you need anything, you've got my phone number. I don't care what it is, you call me if you need me, okay?"

She smiled. "Thank you, Shinsuke."

He embraced her for what felt like a lifetime and not long enough simultaneously, before turning to Monika. "Thank you for taking care of her."

He was surprised when Monika hugged him, but he returned it. "Of course, Shinsuke. Please, get some rest."

"That's another order from the club president!" He released the hug and, with a final wave, left the room.


	5. Chapter 5

Shin splashed cold water on his face before looking up at himself; he still looked like shit. He'd meant to go right home the night before and go to bed like his friends asked, but instead he went to Sayori's house and cleaned her room up. Only wound up getting 3 hours of sleep. Yeah, he was tired, and he knew that Sayori wouldn't be coming home for a little while, but he'd have rather made sure it was taken care of now. He didn't know when Sayori's parents would be home but he assumed that they'd been notified of what happened, and he figured, at the very least, they might appreciate not seeing the rope still hanging from the rafters of their daughters' bedroom. He stepped out of the bathroom and walked to his locker, grabbing his backpack and retrieving an energy drink from it. The literature club would be meeting in a few minutes, and he knew he was gonna have to be awake for this one; he and Monika were going to break the news about Sayori to the other two.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed before closing the locker and beginning the shuffle toward their meeting room. To be frank, he didn't know what to expect from today. He'd played Natsuki and Yuri's reactions to the news in his head a million times as he cleaned his best friends room, and a million more as he zoned out through his classes, trying to prepare himself for whatever may come. However, when it came to human emotions, the past few days had taught Shin to expect the unexpected. He finally reached the meeting room and stopped before entering. His hand hovered over the doorknob, but a wave of nerves hit him all at once. He took a step back and sighed.

"You're nervous about this too, huh Shinsuke?"

Shin turned around and saw Monika standing before him, trying to put on a brave face but really looking just as nervous as Shin felt.

"Hey," he tried dismissing, "it's not the worst thing I've had to do this week, right?"

She gave him a sad look. "Did you sleep well last night."

"Yeah, yeah." She gave him a look, and he knew that his lie wasn't gonna fly. "Alright, no, not really, but I tried."

She sighed. "I guess I can understand that." Shin was thankful that she bought that one. "Well, I suppose that drawing this out isn't going to make things any easier."

"Yeah, you're right." He pressed the can to his lips, tipped it up and chugged the beverage as quickly as possible, letting out an exacerbated sigh as he finished the biting drink. "Alright, got my wake-up juice, ready to go now!" He was thankful that Monika laughed, and he opened the door.

"Hello, Shinsuke!" Yuri greeted warmly.

"Hey, Shin." Natsuki looked over, then frowned. "Still no Sayori, huh? Psh."

Shin felt uncomfortable by Natsuki's reaction, but he tried to shrug it off. "Hey Yuri, hey Natsuki."

"Well, it looks like everyone's here!" Monika entered the room with a sad smile, which didn't go unnoticed.

"Monika," Yuri softly spoke, "are you feeling alright?"

Monika smiled a little more warmly in response. "I appreciate your concern, Yuri." Monika glanced over at Shin, who tried to give an encouraging smile. She nodded, and faced the other two girls. "Um... well, everyone please sit down, I'm afraid that we've got some serious business to discuss today."

Natsuki gave a curious glance toward Monika, while Yuri's expression turned to one of worry. Shin had grabbed a few chairs and set them in a circle, and the four sat down.

"Shin, did you sleep at ALL last night?" Natsuki grimaced once she'd taken a good look at him. "Man, I could take a nap in the bags under your eyes."

Shin looked up and tried to look relaxed, but he blew it HARD. Exhaustion and sorrow were plastered across his face, making him look several years older than he actually was. Natsuki's face melted away, as she became more worried by the moment.

"Somethings seriously wrong, isn't it?" Natsuki gulped.

"Well..." Monika tried to find the right words. "...yes, Natsuki, something is wrong. Something is very wrong." She started to fidget with the edges of her skirt- something Shin was starting to notice was a nervous habit of hers- as she struggled more than she ever had to speak. "Well, um... as I'm sure you two have noticed, Sayori hasn't been here the past few days, and... um..." her voice died out.

"Is she okay?" Yuri asked in a shaky voice. Natsuki was starting to grow pale.

Monika stammered for a moment. "You want me to take this one?" Shin spoke. Monika nodded. He sighed.

"Right... look, I'm just gonna come right out and say it, because I don't know how else to do it." He stared at the ground toward his feet, unable to look anyone in the eyes as he said it.

"Sayori tried to hang herself."

It was as if the room was vacuum sealed, and someone had just sucked all the air out. A gentle stream of tears began to flow from Yuri's eyes, while Natsuki looked as if she'd just seen a ghost... and, to be frank, she was as pale as one, too.

"She... did what?" Natsuki finally spoke in a perfect monotone. Shin wasn't prepared for that.

"Yeah. The night before the festival. I went over to her house that night because..." He felt vulnerable enough in that moment, so he chose to omit the conversation that they'd had. "...well, I went over there, and I found her ha-" He stopped as Yuri let out a horrified wail. Monika scooted her chair closer to Yuri and embraced her purple-haired friend. Shin continued.

"Um... right, I found her. Honestly, we're all pretty lucky, if I'd have been any later..." He visibly shuddered at the thought.

"W-where is she now?" Yuri barely spoke.

"She's currently at an in-patient care facility." Monika said as she stroked Yuri's hair. "She's in the best possible hands right now, Yuri."

"B-b-but why w-would she do t-th-that?" Yuri sobbed.

"I guess she's had really bad depression for a while." Shin clarified. "She did a damn good job of hiding it, too."

Suddenly, Natsuki got up and stormed toward the door.

"Natsuki," Monika pleaded, "please don't go."

Natsuki turned around, a pained expression on her face and tears flowing from her eyes. "I'm sorry, Monika, I can't do this right now." With that she stormed out of the room.

"Natsuki, please!" Monika cried, but to no avail. She turned to Shin. "What do we do?"

"Stay here with Yuri, make sure she's okay." Shin directed. "I'll go try and talk to Natsuki, okay?"

Monika nodded, and Shin bounded out of the chair toward the hallway. He saw Natsuki storming toward the entrance, and he broke out into a jog to catch up with her.

"Natsuki, please don't go. C'mon, dude..." he caught up to her and tried to put a hand on her shoulder, but she swatted it away.

"Don't fucking TOUCH me right now, okay?" She barked.

"I'm sorry, Natsuki." Shin apologized. "Please, talk to me, though."

"Shin," she turned to walk away again, but Shin followed, "please, just leave me alone right now."

"Natsuki, c'mon, we should be together right now-"

"Shin, PLEASE just leave me the FUCK alone!"

"Look, I know that this isn't easy to hear about-"

She stopped, pushed Shin into an empty classroom, slammed the door and turned to him, screaming.

"Isn't EASY? Shin, you just told me that one of my friends TRIED to KILL herself, okay?" She started poking his chest to emphasize her words. "YOU don't get to tell ME how I'M gonna deal with this, OKAY?"

"Natsuki, I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to tell you-"

"Well GOOD!" Natsuki grabbed a fistful of her hair and let out a frustrated scream before facing Shin again, a new wave of anger flushing her system.

"So YOU mean to tell me that SAYORI is DEPRESSED? Well I mean to tell you that's BULLSHIT!"

"Natsuki-"

"No, shut up, Shinsuke!" She started poking at his chest again. "Sayori CAN'T have depression because she's always so HAPPY, OKAY? She's always SMILING and she's always KIND and she ISN'T DEPRESSED! She CAN'T be depressed, not when she ACTS like that, and not when I'VE been so MEAN to her, because IF SHE IS than that makes ME a BITCH, OKAY? She's NOT... fucking..."

Natsuki collapsed into a chair and looked up at Shin, who was on the verge of tears, himself.

"...oh my god, you two are serious." Natsuki said in a much lighter voice.

Shin sat down on top of the desk next to her, putting his feet on the chair and wrapping his arms around his knees. "Natsuki, why would we lie about something like that?"

Natsuki looked up at Shin, her fists balled up and shaking, but she couldn't find words.

"Y'know, if you need to punch something, I can take a hit..."

**THUNK**

Shin stumbled off the desk and grabbed onto his arm. "Shit, Nat, I didn't think you'd actually DO it!"

"Oh god!" Natsuki realized what she'd just done and she looked horrified with herself. "Shin, I'm sorry-"

"No, no, it's cool." He waved her off. "Honestly, I should know better than to give you an invitation like that..."

"God, why have I gotta be such a FUCKING BITCH?" Natsuki grabbed fistfuls of her hair again and slammed her head down on the desk.

"Natsuki, stop..." He pulled a chair next to her and sat down, grabbing her hands and pulling them away from her hair. She looked up at him, and her face screamed devastation.

"Shin, I swear I didn't know!" She desperately tried to explain. "If I'd have known that, I never would have acted like I did, you know that right?"

"Natsuki-"

"I know I can be awful, but even I'M not THAT awful, you know that, right? I swear, I don't mean to act like that all the time!"

"Natsuki, breathe-"

"God, she probably thinks I think she's a piece of shit because of how I act, but Sayori's my friend and I treat her so horrible, just like I treat everyone else so horrible..."

"HEY, NATSUKI!" Shin half-yelled, finally getting Natsuki to pause for a breath. He blinked a few times, not expecting that to work, but he quickly regained his bearings and spoke.

"Look, I'm not going to blow smoke up your ass and say that you've been the nicest person, because you can have a mean streak." She looked away in shame, but he continued. "But I know you're a good person, okay? I know that you care about Sayori and Yuri and Monika, even if you have a funny way of showing it." He paused when he realized that his words weren't having as strong an effect as he'd wished, and he decided that he needed to open up a bit. "Did, um... did I ever tell you about how much of a piece of shit I was when my Mom left?"

Natsuki looked over with a sad expression. "I didn't know that about you... about your Mom..."

"Yeah, well that's because I didn't want you to know." He admitted. "Honestly, there's a lot of stuff we don't know about each other yet, but whatever. Anyways, after my mom left, I acted... well, trust me, I was worse than you could ever be on even your worst day."

She scoffed. "Shin, I appreciate it, but you're a nice dude..."

"How many times have you called Sayori the C-word?"

Her jaw dropped. "You fucking didn't?"

He gave a sad smile. "Once. I was 13, it was two weeks after my mom left... not my proudest moment." He sighed and looked Natsuki in the eyes. "Trust me, Natsuki, I was a real jackass back then. I was young, and I was angry, and Sayori was the only person who could stomach being around me, so I took it all out on her. All she ever did was try to make me happy, and I said some heinous things to her when I was hurting."

"Why are you telling me this, Shin?"

"Because she forgave me, Natsuki. I took all the hurt and abuse that I'd been dealt and took it out on her, and she stood by my side, even when she had every reason to dip on me, just like everyone else did. That's who Sayori is, she's loyal."

"I just feel so horrible right now, Shin."

"Yeah, you probably should." Shin bluntly admitted, making Natsuki wince a little.

"Okay, I deserve that."

"Honestly, I think you owe Sayori an apology when you see her." His tone softened after that. "But the past is the past. We can't do a damn thing about that. You know what we can do, though?"

"What?"

"We can be better in the future. We can be kinder to each other, try to lift one another up instead of tearing each other down. We find constructive ways to deal with the hurt and the pain that life throws our way, and we never let that hurt or pain drag us down to it's level."

Shin wasn't sure if the noise Natsuki made was a laugh or a sob. "You know, Shin, when you first joined the club I thought you were a total dunce, but I'm starting to think there might be more to you than I thought."

"Um... thanks?"

He was sure that noise was a laugh. "Hey, I meant that as a compliment... it wasn't a very good one, was it?"

Shin chortled. "Hey, you've got plenty of time to work on it, and you can always practice on me!" He flashed a toothy grin. "I'm always up for a good compliment."

"You ass!" She lightly punched his shoulder in the same place as before, and Shin gritted his teeth to avoid showing that it was sore. He didn't want her to feel worse than she already did. His mind flashed back to the angrier part of his life, how much hurt he was lugging around at the time, and Shin started to make some connections.

"Hey, Natsuki, you know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

"Eh?" She looked almost concerned, as if she'd been found out.

"Well, I don't want to make any assumptions," Shin started, "and PLEASE don't hit me if I'm totally off about this, but... well, I remember back when I was pissed off all the time, it's because I was going through some shit. Again, I'm not trying to make any assumptions, but... well, if there's ever anything wrong, I'm here for you. My phones always on, you know where I live, and unless I'm with the club I'm never really busy."

Shin was never really prepared to be hugged, but he really didn't expect it from Natsuki. However, he quickly returned it and the two sat there a moment, trying to comfort one another as best as they could. After several minutes, the two broke away, and Shinsuke spoke again.

"So whaddya say, Natsuki? Come back to the club?"

She looked at the ground. "You think the other two are gonna want me there after the scene I made?"

He stood up. "Of course they will, Natsuki. Monika and Yuri aren't going to judge you for getting upset at upsetting news. Beyond that... I want you there, Natsuki." He couldn't help but wonder when he started opening up so much. _It's gotta be a lack of sleep! _"Look, I'll be real, I've seen some fucked up shit in the past few days, and I need to be surrounded with as many friends as humanly possible right now, and we're friends... right?"

"Of course we are, dummy!" Natsuki was still crying a little, but the smile on her face was genuine. "Alright, I guess I'll go back... can I at least stop by the bathroom first, so I can clean myself up?"

"Of course, Natsuki." The two walked out to the hallway toward the nearest girls room, but Shinsuke stopped her before she entered.

"Before we do this," he said, "I just wanna make sure... you know I'm not joking, right? When I say that I'm here for you?"

"Yeah, why would I doubt you?" Natsuki asked in almost an accusatory voice.

Shin lowered his head. "Sorry, I guess... well, I can be kind of emotionally absent sometimes, and I guess I'm just paranoid people think I don't give a shit..."

"Hey," Natsuki said in a reassuring, yet still trademark Natsuki tone, "if I thought you didn't give a shit then I would have called you an asshole when you offered in the first place, okay?"

"Yeah," he laughed, "I guess I should know better. Thanks."

She opened the door to the girls room and started to walk in, but stopped and turned real quick.

"By the way, just saying... after club, go home and get some sleep, okay? You REALLY look like shi... well, you look rough."

"Heh, duly noted." The bathroom door closed and Shin sighed, moving to a bench and collapsing on it. _Maybe she's right, maybe I do need to get some sleep. _He looked at his phone and saw that it was about 4 in the afternoon. _Visiting hours start now, and go until 7 tonight... I can sleep later._


	6. Chapter 6

A heavy rain beat down on the empty cemetery, beat down on Shinsuke, beat down on Sayori's casket. He was on his knees, watching as it slowly lowered into the ground, completely numb to the world around him. The world, to him, was a slow-motion grey scale. Nothing mattered anymore. His best friend needed him, and he'd failed her. Just like he'd failed everybody else in his life. He finally looked up from the coffin to find himself in front of his father's door, now just a child of 14 again. He opened the door to find his Father sitting in his bed, a shotgun placed between his lips. His father looked up at him, a vacant expression on his face, and pulled the trigger.

Xoxoxoxoxoxo

Shin fell to the ground and bolted up, his whole body covered in a cold sweat. He took a moment to regain his bearings, and felt relief wash over him when he realized he had just been having a nightmare. In all actuality, he was in his living room.

_Okay, just breathe, Shin. That wasn't real. After club yesterday, you and Monika went to visit Sayori, remember? She's alive and well... well, she's alive anyway. You walked Monika home, walked through the front door at 10 and sat down on the couch... must have passed out while I was sitting here. _He felt his stomach let out a loud rumble. _Shit, did I remember to eat yesterday? _Another loud rumble. _Dammit, I didn't, did I?_

He pulled himself off the ground and shuffled into the kitchen to find a mess of dirty pans and plates. He grumbled at first until opening the fridge and seeing all sort of Tupperware filled with food. A post-it note sat on one filled with spaghetti, and Shin read it.

_Hey champ, gonna be at the office most of this week again. Figured you were getting sick of take-out._

_Love you,_

_Dad_

Shin stood in front of the fridge smiling, looking at the note, before finally putting it in his pocket and pulling out the spaghetti, his favorite. He put a whopping serving into the biggest bowl he could find and walked to the microwave. He cringed when he saw what time it was.

"It's only 2?!" he groaned, throwing the bowl into the microwave and putting it on for four minutes. He already knew there wasn't much point in trying to go back to bed, not if his dreams were going to be so bad, so he also put on a pot of coffee. Ten minutes later, he ate and caffinated and once he was done, he took care of the dishes, wiped down the counters, and took out the trash. When he was done, he looked back up at the clock on the microwave.

"6:30... well, definitely too late to go back to bed, now." Shin ran upstairs and took another lengthy shower, hoping to feel the same kind of relief as he did yesterday, but was disappointed to find it didn't help. It was 7:15 when he got out, and was ready to be out the door at 7:30. Realizing he didn't have much reason to stick around, he took off.

Xoxoxoxoxoxo

The next few days were as uneventful as they could be. Shin continued getting only 3 or 4 hours of sleep a night. He found himself unable to focus in classes and, while the Literature Club meetings weren't as bubbly as they usually were, he was at least thankful at the new-found peace. Natsuki still had her moments, but she'd actually been pretty cool the past few days. Shin couldn't help but cynically think that it would change once she got over her guilt, but he fought the thought every time it crept up on him. Monika was doing a really good job keeping everything together for the club. In all actuality, however, she was just as torn up as Shin over everything, and she shared as much every time the two walked up to visit Sayori.

Speakings of, Shin was happy to report that Sayori was starting to make some progress. Opening up and talking about what she was dealing with to a professional was providing some answers and, while the first few days were still pretty rough, she was actually starting to show some improvement by Friday, and Shin didn't believe it was just Sayori putting on a brave face. That made him feel better than all the sleep in the world could.

Which left Yuri. Nobody was handling Sayori's absence particularly well, but Shin could tell it was hitting her the hardest. She was always quiet, but she barely spoke the few days after he and Monika had broken the news. She just stared blankly out the window until it was time to leave. He'd always meant to talk to Yuri privately to make sure she was doing alright, but she'd leave the moment that the Literature Club let out, never giving him the chance. It was frustrating, seeing his friend like that and not being able to do anything about it. He couldn't even call or text her- she was the one club member whose number he didn't have.

He was thankful when Saturday rolled around. Sure, he wasn't able to do any of the sleeping in he was so looking forward to, but at least he didn't have to head straight to class. He spent his first few hours awake stretching out his ever-stiffening limbs, eating a big ol' microwaved pancake and bacon breakfast, and fiddling around with a melody that'd been stuck in his head since everything with Sayori had gone down. By 1:30 in the afternoon, he had a decent scratch track done, but he didn't know where to take the music from there. He looked outside and sighed.

"Man, what am I gonna do today?" He kicked his feet up on the open window and leaned back in his office chair. "Monika and Natsuki are visiting Sayori today, so I can't go up there." He still felt weird, this being the first day that he hadn't seen Sayori in... god, years... but Natsuki really wanted to see Sayori, and the facility only allowed two guests at a time, and Natsuki wanted to go up with Monika. He laughed as he remembered how she'd worded it.

"Look, Shin, you're awesome, but Monika's a better bitch wrangler."

"Welp," Shin said, getting up from his chair, "might as well go for a walk. Park's beautiful this time of year!"

He threw on a pair of jeans, an Anthrax shirt and his worn black converse, and made sure to grab a backpack he used for running, filled with bottles of water and a few granola bars. _Any day I don't have to wear that monkey suit uniform's a good day in my book!_ He put his headphones on and jogged up to the same park that he and Sayori had spent so much time in as kids. This was his favorite place in the world when he had a lot on his mind. Whether it was sitting by the lake trying to skip stones, or swinging on the swings after all the kids had left for the day, or laying on top of the monkey bars and watching the stars, there was something comforting about this place.

Today, he figured, he'd walk the nature trail. A 2-and-a-half mile trek through a thick forest with nothing but the trees, the birds, the bugs and his music to keep him company. Bliss.

He jogged the first stretch of the way, but stopped at a rest stop at the half-way point to relieve himself. Once he was done and his hands were washed, he started to walk the rest of the trail, but stopped when he heard a familiar bass line.

"Oh, HELL yes!"

Close Call by Freeweights played through his headphones and Shin started doing a little two-step as he walked, singing along quietly.

_I've been losing touch cause'_

_I've been holdin' on to_

_Someone that I just can't reach_

_I've been drivin' at full speed_

_Been so long since I've seen_

_The dark turn into day_

_You know what I'm talking about_

_It's a close call_

He stopped walking and gave in to the melody. Shin used to love to dance when he was young, but found himself falling out of the habit once his world had darkened up. However, it came back to him like riding a bike, and soon enough he was performing a one-man song-and-dance show alone on the trail, feeling his cares genuinely melt away for the first time all week.

_Close call_

_I've been driving too fast tonight_

_I've been driving too fast_

_For your love_

_Always out there in the night_

_It's a close call_

He performed the entirety of the song, ending on a spin-and-point maneuver, feeling as if he was on top of the world. He quickly felt that fade away as he realized that he was pointing at Yuri. He wasn't sure whose face was redder, his or hers. He slowly took out his phone and paused the music.

"Um..." Shin stammered. "...how much of that did you see?"

"I'm sorry." Yuri looked down. "I didn't mean to intrude on you. I was walking and I stopped to use the facilities and I didn't even know it was you until you turned around... I'm sorry, I'll go now."

Shin jogged forward to catch up with Yuri. "Hey, no, you don't gotta do that. I'm not upset, Yuri, really!"

She stopped and faced him. "But you're red..."

This just made him blush more. "Okay, yeah, I'm a little embarrassed, sure, but I'm not angry. I just thought I was out here alone."

"That makes two of us." Yuri always sounded so small, Shin noticed. It bothered him. "I'm sorry again, though, Shinsuke..."

"Hey, seriously, it's fine..." He flashed a toothy grin. "...you know, unless I sucked."

"No, no," she put her hands up defensively "No, it was very good. Honestly, I never thought you'd have such a beautiful voice... I mean, it's not beautiful, it's masculine, but it sounds very good..."

"Yuri, you're bleeding."

When she'd raised her hands, one of her loose long sleeves had rolled down and, sure enough, there was a cut on her arm. Shin only got a quick glance, but he thought he saw more.

She quickly pulled down her sleeve. "Oh, um, I fell while I was hiking."

He reached into his back pocket and produced a black bandanna. "Yeesh, you should let me take care of that before it gets infected."

"N-no, no, that's quite fine, Shinsuke." She stepped away from him. Shin got an uneasy feeling.

"Hey, are you alright, Yuri?"

"Y-yes, I'm absolutely fine, Shinsuke..."

He smiled, trying not to let his concern show. "You shouldn't lie like that, Yuri. It really doesn't fit you." She looked down at the ground, but he took a step forward and pointed out a bench. "You wanna sit down and talk? I've been meaning to check in on you, anyway, but you always leave so quickly after the club lets out."

Yuri looked a little ashamed, but she walked toward the bench and sat down anyway. "I apologize, Shinsuke. I had no idea you wished to speak with me or I wouldn't have left so..."

"Hey, you ain't gotta apologize for nothin'." He sat down beside her, slung the bag off his shoulder and pulled out a bottle of water, cracking it open and taking a long drink. He exhaled after he swallowed it, then tipped the bottle toward Yuri. "You thirsty?"

"Oh, um, thank you." She took a small sip and gave the bottle back. He screwed the cap on and spoke.

"So how are you holding up in all this?"

"I'm well." The look on his face screamed 'bullshit', which made her sigh. "No, I suppose you wouldn't believe that, would you?"

"Don't feel bad," he chuckled, "after the week I've had, I guess I'm kind of an expert in realizing when something isn't right."

"I'm so sorry that all of this has happened to you, Shinsuke."

"Hey, it's not like it's just me! Sayori's just as much your friend as she is mine. Now don't worry about me, I wanna hear about you. How are you holding up?"

"Well, I guess that this has all been very... difficult for me to accept. I mean, Sayori has always been the happiest person I've known, so hearing that it's all been a facade... I guess it's hard to have hope."

"What do you mean?"

She sadly laughed. "Well, I guess I always admired Sayori's attitude, her optimism. During some of my most difficult days, I would always say to myself 'Just be more like Sayori.' I guess now knowing that she deals with the monsters, it's hard to stay optimistic."

"Monsters?"

Yuri lifted her head, a thousand-yard glare pointed towards the forest. "Yes, the monsters. The little voices on your shoulders, in your head, that tell you that you aren't good enough. That say that you don't deserve to be happy. That you deserve to be miserable, deserve to hurt, deserve to bleed..." Her voice trailed off with that last word, and Shinsuke suddenly felt very nervous.

"Yuri, what did you mean by that?"

She snapped out of her trance-like state and met Shin's eyes, hers filled with fear. "I didn't mean to say that..."

Shin remembered her arm.

"Yuri..."

Her hand reached down toward her sleeve and she tugged it closer to her hand. Shin's heart broke for the millionth time that week.

"The first time was an accident, you know." She looked almost surprised when the words left her mouth. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be discussing this..."

"Yuri..." Shin struggled to find the right words. "...look, I'm not going to make you talk about something you don't want to, but I'm not going to judge you for anything."

She rolled her eyes. "That's what they've all said."

He sighed, not sure what to do, before a wild idea crossed his mind. "Um... okay, this is gonna be kind of weird, but stay with me on this one, okay?"

Yuri gave Shin a puzzled look, and her eyes shot wide open when he took his shirt off. She looked away, blushing, before finally looking over and seeing a gigantic scar that traced from his shoulder to almost his elbow, on his left arm. She looked up at him, concern in her eyes, and he started to speak, never breaking eye contact.

"I was 14 when I did this. The last few friends I had other than Sayori told me I was too much of a bummer to kick it with, anymore, and I got into a huge argument with my old man that night when I got home. He took off to sleep in his car that night... he did that a lot back then."

"What did you do?" she finally spoke.

He flashed the saddest smile Yuri had ever seen. "I got FUCKED up. My dad had half a handle of some kind of Irish whiskey, and I polished that down as quick as I could. Funny enough, my dad came back for a second to grab that whiskey... pissed off doesn't even begin to cover it. We start fighting again and I'm drunk off my ass, so finally I smashed the bottle over the counter, and..." he didn't finish the sentence, he just traced his arm over the scar.

"...how did you feel afterward?"

It was this question that finally made him break eye contact. "Honestly? In the moment it felt amazing. Like I was finally in control of something. Stung like a bitch for, like, three weeks afterward, though. I regretted it as soon as I sobered up. I just felt so ashamed of myself, especially for doing it in front of my dad."

There was a silence for a moment, before Yuri spoke.

"You really won't judge me?"

Shin put his shirt back on and scooted a little closer. "I wouldn't dare."

She looked down at her arms before slowly lifting up her sleeves, revealing two gashes on her left arm, and dozens of scars on both. Some faded, some fresh, some small, some big.

"I never meant it to be this bad... it's like you said, I just wanted control over something, and the pain was always so exhilarating..."

Shin didn't respond to this. Instead, he pulled the bandanna out of his pocket again and began to gently dab the blood away from her wounds. Once he'd felt that he'd sufficiently cleaned it, he tied the bandanna around the cuts.

"Why are you doing this for me, Shinsuke?"

"Because I know what it feels like to hurt and feel like you have no option but to destroy yourself." A tear flowed down his cheek, and he looked up at her. "I'm sorry that you feel like you have to do this, Yuri."

She started bawling. "I don't wanna be like this, Shinsuke... everyone thinks I'm a freak!"

"Well, you're not."

She scoffed. "Only a freak would mutilate themselves like this."

"Hey, you're NOT a fucking freak, okay Yuri?" His tone shifted, becoming much more serious. "I'm not gonna say that this is healthy, but I hardly have room to talk. You're not a freak for hurting yourself, okay? You're just dealing with a lot of shit. Trust me, I can sympathize with that."

"...why are you always so kind?"

He laughed. "You know, if I had a dollar for every time I've been asked something like that this week, I wouldn't have to walk to school anymore. I'll tell you the same thing I've told everyone else, it's because you're my friend, and that's what friends do."

The two sat in silence for a while, as Yuri's sobs slowed to a halt. After a while, she rose to her feet. "Well," she said, "would you like to finish our hike?"

He rose to his feet. "Yeah, dude, totally!"

The two began to walk before Yuri asked "Hey, Shinsuke, what song were you singing along to, anyway?"

He blushed a little, having forgot how the two met up that day. "Um, it was a song by the Freeweights called Close Call."

"I don't believe I'm familiar with that artist, could you tell me about them?"

Shin talked about the group, and wound up explaining Outrun for the second time that week, but he didn't mind. Yuri had surprisingly insightful questions to ask, and Shin loved discussing music, so he was in absolute nirvana during the conversation. Soon, though, they were out of the woods and standing before the entrance to the park.

"Hey, Yuri, lemme see your phone."

"Umm, why?" Yuri seemed a little nervous.

Shin flashed a reassuring grin. "Relax, I'm not gonna do anything weird, I just wanna give you my number."

"Oh. Okay, sure." She handed her his phone and he put his information into her contacts.

"Alright, that's my phone number, email and home address punched in. Now that you have that, can you do me a favor?"

"Um, that all depends on the favor, Shinsuke." She said, suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable.

Shin caught it, and tried to speak in the gentlest tone he could. "Next time you want to do... that..." He gently put a hand on her arm. "...I want you to get a hold of me, okay? Seriously, I don't care what time of day it is, I'll be around."

"What if it's early in the morning?"

"I'll be up. Just trust me."

She took a hard look at him. "You haven't been sleeping, have you, Shinsuke?"

"I have, a little... okay, maybe not as much as I should be, but I'm fine, Yuri. Promise! I'm peachy-keen, jelly bean, hep-cat!"

He was thankful that she giggled at his response, feeling a certain amount of worry melt away. Once she was done laughing, though, she looked down at her feet for a moment, and looked up with tears in her eyes.

"This is the nicest thing gesture anybody has ever shown me, do you know that?"

"Well, that just means I'm gonna have to top it at some point then, right?"

She smiled bigger than Shin had ever seen before. "You're a good man, Shinsuke Tanahashi. Don't forget that."

He laughed. "I'll try to keep that one in mind."

**A/N: Obviously, I don't own Close Call, for I am not a Freeweight. I am a human... I think... I don't know, are humans supposed to have pincers? It's really hard to type with these things...**


	7. Chapter 7

Shinsuke stared out the window, eyes half-glazed over, struggling to keep his eyes open. It was Sunday now, and he was sitting with Yuri and Sayori. He'd planned on finally getting some sleep this morning, but Yuri shot him a text the night before saying that she hadn't seen Sayori yet, and that she was too nervous to go it alone. Of course, Shin offered to go, bit the bullet and brewed a strong pot of coffee that morning.

However, it didn't have quite the effect that he'd hoped. He tried to follow along with Yuri and Sayori's conversation, but he found himself unable to, until he felt Sayori nudge his shoulder.

"Shin, are you doing alright?" She asked, concerned.

He shrugged it off. "Nah, I'm fine, just a little sleepy."

Sayori nodded, then looked at the clock. "You're going to have to leave soon." She said, sadly.

Shin took her hand. "Hey, now, cheer up. We'll be back tomorrow to see you, Sayori."

Suddenly, Sayori lit up, and started bouncing in her seat. "Oh my goodness, I can't believe I almost forgot to tell you!" She beamed at Yuri. "I guess I was so excited to see you I almost forgot!"

"You seem to have some really exciting news." Yuri spoke gently, with a smile on her face.

Sayori looked like she was about to burst out of her seat, and she looked at Shin. "So, you know how the doctor said if I kept up, then I'd get to go home soon?"

"Did they give you a date?" Shin brightened up.

"I get to go home tomorrow!"

"No way!" Shin was smiling from ear to ear. "Sayori, that's amazing!"

She looked down and smiled sheepishly. "I really thought I'd be here way longer, but the doctor said that I've been making some real progress. He thinks it's because I have such a strong support group."

"We would do anything for you." Yuri chimed in. "We all just want to see you get better, Sayori."

Shin gulped. "Um... as much as I'd hate to ruin the moment, uh... well, what's next?"

"Hmm?" Sayori looked confused.

"Well," he said, "I mean, obviously this place has done you some good, and I'm really happy about that, but what's gonna happen once your out? I doubt that they're just gonna throw you out in the world and have that be that."

"Right..." Sayori gave a nervous laugh. "Well, I'm going to be leaving with a prescription so I can keep taking this medication. I don't really think it's working, but the doctor said that it takes time to really have an effect... and I guess I'm going to be seeing a therapist for a while."

"That's all fantastic news, Sayori!" Yuri beamed, but Sayori still wore a nervous smile.

"Yeah... honestly, I'm really nervous. I know that this is all supposed to help me, but it's a lot to take in all at once." She laughed. "I'm sure that you both think that sounds silly, though."

"Of course it's not silly, Sayori." Shin took her hand again, rubbing her palms with his thumbs. "You have every reason to be afraid, but I'm so damn proud of you for following through with this."

She gripped his hands and looked up at him. "Um... you'll go with me to therapy appointments, won't you?"

"Of course I will..."

"And if he can't," Yuri added, "then I would happily go with you."

Sayori smiled at the two of them. "What did I ever do to get such wonderful friends?"

"You were wonderful, in return, Sayori." Yuri said.

A moment later, though, a nurse came in and announced that visiting hours were over. The two hugged their friend, then headed to the elevator. Yuri pulled out her phone and texted for a while before Shin broke the silence.

"I'm really happy she's getting out tomorrow."

"Hmm?" Yuri quickly stuffed her phone into her pocket and looked up. "Oh, yes, I'm sure that she'll be very excited to be out of here. This facility is much nicer than I had thought it would be, but it must be horribly depressing to stay here."

"Yeah, probably." He let out a long yawn. "Man, sorry about that."

Yuri gave him a funny look. "Shinsuke, you really need to sleep."

"C'mon, Yuri, I'm good!"

"You look exhausted." She said, concern ringing in her voice. "Plus, I couldn't help but notice how you were zoning out while we were visiting Sayori."

The elevator opened and the two stepped out. Shin rubbed the back of his neck. "Man, it's that obvious, huh?"

"I'm worried about you, Shinsuke."

"Hey, you don't gotta do that! I'm a badass, Yuri!" He saw that his comment did little to ease her mind, and he sighed. "Alright, you win. I guess I'll go and take a nap."

"Yes, please!" Yuri looked down at the ground. "I mean, yes, I think that it would be best for your health if you did that. You deserve rest, Shinsuke."

"Alright, but only because I don't like to see you worry." He said with a toothy grin. The two said their goodbyes and went their separate ways. Shin couldn't help but notice that the moment Yuri thought he wasn't looking anymore, she pulled her phone out and went right back to texting, but he shrugged it off and walked back home. He low-key hoped that maybe his Dad would be home, since it was Sunday, but was disappointed to return home to an empty driveway. _I should know better, by now._

He entered the house, drug himself up to his room, stripped his shirt off and plopped down on his bed. He expected to be hit with a million racing thoughts like he usually was, but a peace washed over him.

_Sayori's coming home tomorrow._

He smiled as he drifted peacefully off to sleep for the first time all week.

Xoxoxoxoxoxo

He awoke to the unmistakable sound of meat sizzling on a skillet, and the smell of tacos and some sort of baked goods. He assumed, at first, that he was dreaming, and tried to roll back over and go to bed, but the rumbling in his stomach convinced him that it wasn't a dream.

_Is Dad actually home?_

He got out of bed with a yawn and a stretch, used the bathroom and walked down the steps.

"Hey, fucker, I thought you had to work!"

He got to the bottom and turned the corner, only to find Monika in the hallway.

"Oh shi- um, sorry about that."

She laughed. "It's perfectly okay, Shin. We are kind of intruding upon your space."

"We?"

Natsuki poked her head out of the kitchen. "You're too skinny, Shin. Yuri's in here, too, but she's working on the meat."

"Hello!" Yuri chimed from the kitchen.

"Um, wow, okay!" Shin smiled, but he was still confused. "Uh, not that I don't appreciate this... like, a LOT, mind you... but why are you three over here making me dinner?"

"Because we OWE you, DUMMY!" Natsuki expressed, before ducking back into the kitchen. Monika laughed.

"I think what Natsuki was trying to say is that you've really gone above and beyond this week, Shinsuke. Not just with Sayori, but with all of us. I guess we've all got some skeletons in our closet, and you've been so wonderful in trying to take care of us..." Monika blushed. "...I guess we just wanted to re-pay the favor."

Shin tried to keep a stoic face, but, despite his best efforts, a few tears leaked from his eyes. "Um... thank you, Monika... thank all of you."

Monika stepped forward and gave him a hug. "No, thank you, Shinsuke. We truly have been blessed to have your join our Literature Club."

The two embraced a moment longer before finally breaking the hug. Monika used her sleeve to wipe the tears from Shin's eyes, a gesture he appreciated, before Yuri finally stepped into the hallway.

"Now that that's done, I can properly greet..." Yuri looked down and blushed. "Oh, oh my... um, Shin, you're not wearing a shirt."

Shin looked down and, sure enough, he was completely nude from the waist-up. His face turned a deep shade of red as he bounded up the stairs.

"I'M SORRY I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST MY DAD HERE SHIT!"

The house erupted in laughter, which just made Shin blush more.

Xoxoxoxoxoxo

Monday's never went by quickly, but today, especially, seemed to be dragging on and on. Today was the day that Sayori would finally be coming home, and he'd be the one to greet her, since the other three... well, they had something going. Finally, after what felt like 8 years, 3:15 came and the end-of-day bell rang out. Shin bounded out of his seat and was out the door quicker than he'd ever been in his life. She'd be getting out at 3:30, and he wasn't gonna be even a second late!

He sprinted the whole way, almost being struck by several vehicles, but he made it into the lobby just in time. He barely had time to sit and catch his breath before the elevator opened and he saw Sayori step out, a doctor by her side. He got up and walked toward her, overhearing the conversation she was having with her doctor.

"...and remember, take both of them before bed, every single night unless a doctor tells you otherwise, okay?"

"Yes, sir."

"Now," he handed her a folder, "everything you'll need is in here. Medical forms, directions from both your home and your school to the therapists' office, information about your medication, if you have any questions, the answer should be in here, okay?"

"Yes, sir."

The doctor looked over and saw Shinsuke standing there. "Ah, I take it that you're the Mr Tanahashi I've been hearing so much about?"

His cheeks glowed a little. "Um, yes sir, I guess I am."

The doctor clapped a hand on his shoulder. "From what I understand, you've been a very good friend. Ms. Sayori's very lucky to have somebody like you in her life."

"Um, I guess so, Sir."

The doctor laughed. "Give yourself some credit, young man." The doctor turned his attention back to Sayori, and he knelt down a little bit so he could look her directly in the eye.

"You are a very kind, thoughtful young woman, Sayori. I want you to be nicer to yourself, and be open and honest with your friends about how you're feeling for now on, okay?"

"Yes sir. Thank you for everything."

The doctor nodded, re-entered the elevator and pressed a button. As the doors closed, he kindly spoke "Good luck out there, Sayori. Hopefully I never see you again!"

She laughed as the doors closed, then turned to Shin, the biggest smile he'd ever seen on her face.

"Hey, Sayori!"

"Hi Shin!"

The two stood there, beaming at one another, before Sayori lunged forward and wrapped her arms around him. He returned the hug, feeling a warmth envelop him that he hadn't felt in far too long.

"I'm so happy you're okay, Sayori."

"I have you to thank for it... you saved my life, Shinsuke..."

"Hey, c'mon, we can get sappy later, okay?" He pulled back and smiled. "Right now, I think we should try and have a fun day, what do you think?"

She nodded. "I think that sounds awesome! Umm..." she pressed her index fingers together. "...do you think we can get something to eat? I'm REALLY hungry!"

Shin laughed. "Yeah, that sounds great, but I got something for you, first."

"Is it food?"

He chortled. "No, you goof, it's not food." He slung the backpack off his shoulders and handed it to her. "So, there's a bag in there with some of your clothes... um, I didn't pick them out, I took Monika by your place to grab them. I didn't want to go through your..." his face turned beat red. "Uh, I hope you don't mind. I mean, I probably should have asked if you were cool with Monika..."

"Shin, it's okay!" She chirped. "Honestly, I was getting pretty tired of these scrubs, anyway, and I certainly can't leave in my PJ shorts!"

"Right, yeah." he felt the warmth start to leave his face. "Um, well there's a bathroom right over there, if you wanna get changed real quick."

"Yeah! Back in a flash!" She ran off to the bathroom, and he sat down in a chair, a massive, goofy grin stretched from ear to ear. He whipped out his phone, looked up to make sure Sayori was still in the restroom, and he quickly responded to a text.

_According to plan. Be there soon._

Xoxoxoxoxoxo

The two walked back toward their homes, giddy as can be, but Shin stopped as they were about to pass the school.

"Ah crap..." he slung his backpack off his shoulders and unzipped it, rifling through it.

"Is everything okay, Shin?" Sayori asked, suddenly a little concerned.

"Yeah, no, everything's good..." Shinsuke said, zipping his bag back up. "I just realized that I forgot one of my text books, and I got a stupid test that I need to study for. Um, do you mind if we drop in real quick so I can get that?"

"Yeah, no problem!"

"Cool, let's go!" Shin made sure that he walked ahead of Sayori so his massive smile wouldn't give anything away. After a while, they stood before the classroom where they had club.

"Alright, I think I left it in here..." he grabbed the doorknob and pretended to fiddle with it for a second, a look of false-puzzlement on his face. "Huh, weird. I can't get it open. Sayori, you wanna give it a go?"

"Um, okay?" Sayori looked puzzled, especially when she opened the door no problem, and ESPECIALLY when...

"SURPRISE!"

"EH?!" She was suddenly surrounded by confetti, streamers, and the other three girls of the club, who descended upon her in a group hug. "Wha- what IS this?"

"It's a surprise party, silly!" Monika happily chimed.

"We're all very happy to have you back, Sayori," Yuri spoke, softly, "and we figured that this would be the best way to express that."

"You better have an appetite," Natsuki said, trying-and-failing to sound annoyed, "because I stayed up all night baking this damn thing!"

She pointed at a two-tiered cake adorned in pink frosting, the first tier having strawberries all around the side, the top covered in cherries, with a big, yellow star sticking out of the top. Sayori's jaw dropped.

"It's just like..."

"Super Michelangelo 64." Shin chimed in. "I remembered how much you liked that game when we were kids, and I sent Natsuki a picture of the cake at the end..."

"It was a piece of cake to make!" Natsuki winked and flashed a V-for-Victory. "Pun STRONGLY intended!"

Yuri groaned, but the group were surprised when Sayori started crying.

"Sayori," Shinsuke faced her, worried, "are you okay?"

She laughed. "Of course, silly, I'm just... I'm just so happy right now! I forgot what this felt like... being happy..."

Shinsuke wrapped his arms around her. Then Monika, then Yuri, and finally Natsuki, and they stood like that for a while, happy to finally be re-united, before Sayori finally spoke.

"Um, guys, this is really nice... but that cake looks REALLY good!"


	8. Chapter 8

Shin spent the majority of his week by Sayori's side, unless she was sleeping or he was in classes. Whether it was escorting her to appointments or helping her catch up on the schoolwork she missed, hanging out with the other club members or just the two of them, they hardly spent a moment apart. Saturday night, however, Sayori's parents came back into town, so Shin had an evening to himself, which he'd spent getting re-acquainted with his video games well into the early hours of the morning; the sun was starting to rise when he'd finally crawled into bed.

Much like most the week before, he didn't get much sleep, and what he got was pretty restless. He thought that he'd be able to sleep better with Sayori home, but it didn't do much for him. He still found himself worried sick about not just her, but his other three friends, as well. The past couple weeks had shown Shinsuke that his friends were each going through their own hells. Sayori was depressed, Yuri was hurting herself, Monika was lonely and Natsuki... well, he still wasn't quite sure what Natsuki's deal was, but he knew that something was up.

2 PM rolled around and Shin gave up on sleeping. _3 hours is enough to run on, anyway, right? _He crawled out of bed and into a cold shower, shocking his system just enough to wake him up for the day. He considered spending the whole day in there, but the smell of cooking meat quickly got him to reconsider._ Did one of the girls stop by again?_

Shin quickly got out of the shower, threw on some sweats and a T-shirt, and made his way downstairs. "Monika? Yuri? Natsuki?"

"Who the fuck are they?" A gruff, tired voice boomed from the kitchen.

Shin stopped for a moment, surprised, before quickly bounding down the rest of the steps. "They actually let you OUT of that office finally, huh, ya old bastard?"

He turned the corner to find a thin, frail looking man. His black, oily hair hung past his shoulders, the stubble on his face a few hours past a five-o-clock shadow, and he could haul mountains with the bags under his eyes, but the smile on his face? That hadn't aged a day.

"Jeez, Dad, you look like shit!"

Shinsuke's father chuckled before gesturing toward Shin. "Look at YOU! Those teachers of yours let you sleep?"

"Psh, like I'd be up studying, anyway!" Shin grabbed a drink out of the fridge and sat at the table, propping his feet up on the chair next to him. "Seriously, though, what're you doing here? You always work weekends!"

"Boss man started giving me first Saturday of the month off. Said something about budget cuts, I think he just got tired of looking at me."

"Who could blame him?"

"Watch it, boy," Shin's dad tutted, "one day you're gonna look just like me, wrinkles and all!"

"No I won't!" Shin flashed a devilish grin. "I'm not gonna forget to wash my hair!"

"Fuck, I guess you got me there. Burger?"

"Hell yeah!"

A moment later, Shin had a big, juicy cheeseburger with all the fixings in front of him, and the two ate in silence for a bit. Shin had gotten half way through his burger before speaking again.

"So how's the cubicle life been?"

"Ugh." Shin's dad swallowed his bite and grimaced. "You know, I think the boss would save more money firing half these yahoo's and finding a way to clone me!"

Shin laughed. "That bad, huh?"

"Holy shit, kid, you think we get paid to slap our dicks against our thighs!" Shin had nearly spit out his drink at this comment. "Seriously, I'm starting to think that I could probably get a decent raise trying to see how far I could shove the stapler up my ass than doing my job!"

"Dad, stop, you're killing me!" Shin gasped through his laughter.

"Good! This job's killing me, and I'm not dying alone!"

The two sat in roaring laughter for a while, before in finally died down, and the father-and-son were left trying to catch their breath. Finally, a joyful calm fell over the room, and the Tanahashi boys finished their meals before double-teaming the dishes.

"So what've you got planned today, kid?"

"Hmm..." Shinsuke scrunched his face a bit. "Dunno. Sayori's probably with her folks today, so I've got an afternoon to do whatever."

"When did you and Sayori start hanging out again?"

"Few weeks ago, Pop."

"Good, good. How's she been?"

"She's..." he sighed. He wanted to tell him that she was alright, so not to worry him, but he knew better. Shin knew that if there was anyone on earth who cared about her as much as he did, it'd be his old man. "Well, honestly, things have been kind of rough for her."

"Nothing happened to her parents, right?"

"No, no, nothing like that. I guess she's been dealing with some mental shit for a while."

"Yeah? No shit?" Shin looked up and saw that his old man looked flabbergasted. "She always seemed to be so up-beat. Did something happen?"

"No, nothing like that. She just got really good at hiding shit."

"Heh, I should ask how she does it." Shin's dad looked up. "Sorry, bad time for joking, huh?"

"S'all good, Pop." The two finished the dishes and sat back down.

"And how are you handling it?" Shin's Dad asked.

He laughed. "C'mon, Pop, you know me..."

"Which is why I'm asking. I know you, Shinsuke, even if I'm not around that much anymore."

Shin sighed, before putting his elbows up on the table and resting his head in his hands. "Should know better than to get one past you, huh?"

"Damn right, boy."

Shin chuckled before looking back up at his old man. "I dunno, Pop, I guess I'm just worried. Things got kinda scary a few weeks ago, and I'm just worried about everyone."

"Everyone?" Shin's dad looked confused for a moment before he remembered earlier. "Oh, what were those names? Muri or Natsumie or whatever, friends of yours?"

Shin laughed. "Yuri, Natsuki and Monika, Dad, and yeah. I met them though Sayori, at..."

"Literature club." Shin's dad nodded, before looking up and seeing a confused look on Shin's face. "C'mon, kid, I might not be home often but I still read your text messages."

"Fair enough." Shin cleared his throat. "But anyway, yeah, I guess I'm just worried about everyone. Like, I just wanna help them and do what I can, but I just feel like it's not enough sometimes, you know?"

Shin's Dad moved from the seat across Shin to the one next to him and clapped his son on the shoulder, looking at him with a look that WOULD be determined if there was a little more confidence in his eyes. "Son, I've known you for 18 years. That's long enough to know that you have been busting your hump trying to help your friends out. You gotta take care of yourself first, Shin, and I KNOW that's rich coming from me, so keep your smart ass comments to yourself."

Shin exhaled out of his nose and smirked. "Busted."

"Only thing I'm gonna bust is that ass." Shin's dad mumbled under his breath, getting another laugh out of Shinsuke, but he quickly went back into Dad mode. "Seriously, though, you gotta start taking care of yourself, son. You keep burning the candle at both ends, there isn't gonna be enough of you left to help anyone, you understand?"

"Yeah, you're right." Shin sighed. "I just worry."

"Yeah, that's all we Tanahashi's do, is worry. Break the family curse, boy."

Shin laughed. "Thanks Pop. It's nice having you around."

"Good to be home, son. So... you don't got anything going?"

"Nope."

"...wanna go catch a movie?"

Shin smirked. "Sure you don't gotta go to work in five minutes?"

Shin's old man rolled his eyes. "Let me tell you all the different ways my boss can kiss my ass!"


	9. Chapter 9

Shin laid in his bed, staring up at the ceiling, trying to dispel the thoughts floating around. He'd just had a great day. Him and his old man went to catch a movie, went for a hike on Shin's favorite trail at the park, and had a great meal at Shin's favorite diner before he dropped em' off and went back to work. He should be on cloud nine, but one comment his Dad made kept floating through his head.

"Son, I've known you for 18 years..."

_Does he seriously not remember how old I am?_

The logical side of his brain tried to explain it away: Maybe he was just tired. Maybe he said that because it WAS a just a couple months from his 18th birthday. Maybe he just had a brain fart.

_But what if he still harbors that resentment? What if he really doesn't give a shit about you anymore? It would explain why he lives at that office... god, where does he even stay when he's not here?_

Thoughts continued to run through his mind until he heard his phone buzzing. He grabbed it, first noticing it was just before 9:30, then seeing that he'd received a text from Yuri.

"Hello, Shinsuke. Are you awake? If you're trying to sleep, I'm very sorry."

"Nah, just laying around. Sup?" He sent the text and sat up in his bed, staring out the window until he felt his phone vibrate again.

"To be honest, I'm thinking about... well, doing IT again, and I thought that I would message you like you wanted."

His phone vibrated again before he could respond. "I'm sorry. You probably don't want to be dealing with this. I won't be upset if you just pretend I never messaged you."

He sighed before responding. "No, no, it's cool. I'm happy you messaged me. What's going on?" He slapped a frowny emoji at the end of the text and got out of bed, walking into the bathroom and throwing some cold water on his face before getting another response.

"The monsters won't go away."

"Where are you?" Shin went back into his room and threw some clothes on. He was already in the sweatpants he'd been wearing earlier, throwing a simple hoodie on and lacing up his converse. He got a response as he laced up the second shoe.

"I'm up at the park, currently. I apologize, I can never remember what the actual name of it is. The one where we met last weekend."

"Where, specifically? I'm on my way." He barely got down the stairs before getting another response.

"NO NO YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT."

He smiled. "It's cool, Yuri. I can't sleep, and a walk would do me some good. Where are you?"

xoxoxoxoxoxo

He was thankful that the weather was so picturesque. The air was crisp, but not cold enough to see your breath yet. Good sweater weather, perfect night walking weather. He tried to absorb as much of the walk as he could to put himself in a better mood before seeing his friend, absorbing the hum of the street lamps, the buzzing of the creatures of the night, a sea of homes and lights and people and life. Before too long he was at the park, and it wasn't too much longer until he saw Yuri sitting alone on the swings, a thousand-yard gaze looking off into the dark woods beyond. He walked a little heavier than he otherwise would so she'd hear him coming, but with no success. Shin considered putting a hand on her shoulder, but thought that it'd just startle her. Eventually, he decided to just sit down and wait for her to notice he was there. Thankfully, it was only a moment before she finally turned.

"Oh!" Yuri gasped. "I apologize Shinsuke, I must have been... distracted. I hope you weren't there for too long."

"Nah, just got here." He waved off. "Didn't wanna spook you."

She weakly chuckled. "I do appreciate that. Um... how are you?"

"I'm alright!" He lied, a big ol' smile on his face. "How about you, how are you doing?"

She sighed before looking away again. "I suppose you already know the answer to that question."

"Yeah, but I'm not gonna lead with 'Hey, why you do the sad thing', now would I? That just sounds goofy!"

She chuckled, but her face soon fell once more. "To be honest, I don't even really understand what I'm feeling right now. Yes, I suppose I'm not feeling the greatest, but it shouldn't be bad enough for me to want to... well, you know."

"I'm sorry to hear that." He scrunched his face up, trying to think of what to say next. "So, like, nothing really triggered it, then? You just... want to?"

"Yes. I know, that's a really sick thing for me to want..."

"Hey!" he interrupted. "Don't start with that, Yuri. It's not going to help anything if you keep beating yourself up, okay?"

"Yes, sorry." Even in the dark, Shin could see her cheeks reddening.

"You don't have to apologize, I just don't like when people talk shit about my friends."

This brought a smile to her face, but her mood sombered quickly, again. Yuri sighed. "I guess I'm really having difficulties understanding why I keep getting these urges. I want to stop, Shinsuke. I know that continuing to do this is NOT healthy, neither physically nor mentally. I WANT to STOP and I just can't!"

Shin noticed the change in her physiology. Her posture stiffened, her skin went pale and her eyes shot open into an almost unhinged look. Honestly, he was a little intimidated at the sight of Yuri, which is something he never thought he could be.

"No matter what I do, I just crave the tearing of flesh, the sting of the cut..."

"Yuri?"

"...something about seeing the blood begin to pool is just so beautiful..."

"Yuri, you're starting to worry me..."

"...its what I deserve, anyway, to suffer, to hurt, to sting..."

"HEY, YURI!" He finally yelled, worried at what would happen if she continued.

As if coming out of a trance, Yuri's eyes returned to normal, her posture loosened up, and she looked at him with a look of pure fear in her eyes.

"Oh god, I went into that place again. Shinsuke, why does this keep happening? Why am I like this?"

He got out of his swing and knelt beside Yuri, putting a hand on her knee.

She tried to cover her face as tears began to stream from her eyes. "I don't want the monsters to keep winning, Shinsuke, but I think they're IN me! They live in my head and they take control when I'm weak, Shinsuke, and I'm so weak..."

"You messaged me." Shin spoke. "To do that instead of giving into the urge took a lot of strength and courage, you know."

"I don't feel very strong."

"You don't have to. It's okay to not feel like you're strong sometimes, Yuri."

"Do... do you ever feel that way?"

He looked down away from her and suddenly felt exposed. He thought back to how he felt before getting her text. "Yes, Yuri, I do. Honestly, I feel weak a lot more than I feel strong."

"How do you deal with it?"

He looked up and smiled again, feeling a little of the confidence build inside him, again. "Well, that's easy. I've got friends like you."

"Eh?" Her eyes shot open.

"And Sayori, and Natsuki and Monika, too. I know that no matter what life throws at me, no matter how weak I feel, I have these four wonderful, thoughtful friends that care about me, that want whats best for me and want to see my succeed. When I remember that, it gives me the courage to keep going. I know I can handle anything, as long as I have the literature club by my side."

She finally uncovered her face. "Do you think I'll be able to handle this? I mean, do you think... do you think I'll ever get better?"

"I know you will. You're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for, my friend, and I promise that I'll be by your side the whole time."

She slowly got out of her swing. Shinsuke sprung up to his feet, but was almost bowled over by Yuri, who wrapped her arms around him, new tears streaming down her face. "I don't deserve a friend like you, Shinsuke."

"Stop that!" He said while returning the embrace. "You deserve so much. Least of all, a friend that cares a lot about you."

"You're so kind."

"Because you deserve kindness, Yuri. One day you'll understand that."

The two held each other for a while, before letting go and wordlessly starting for the entrance. They walked a while, the silence only broken by Yuri's fading sniffles, before she stopped.

"Shin, do you see that? Is that who I think it is?"

Shin looked up to see the old Friendship Fountain. Once he looked a little closer, he saw his best friend sitting on the edge of the basin, looking up at the stars.

"Oh shit..." Shin started jogging toward the fountain. "Hey, Sayori!"

Sayori looked confused when she glanced over, but lit up when she saw who it was. "Shinsuke! Yuri!"

"Hello, Sayori." Yuri said after walking over. "Beautiful evening, isn't it?"

"It's gorgeous!" Sayori said, with stars in her eyes.

"Are you okay, Sayori?" Shin said, concerned. "It's late! I thought you were at home with your parents?"

"Oh." She suddenly looked very sad, but trying to hide it. "Haha, yeah... um, they were only in town for today. They had to leave again a few hours ago... I guess I'm a little sad about that..."

"Motherfuckers." Shin muttered under his breath. Yuri sat down next to her.

"I'm very sorry to hear that, Sayori." Yuri spoke softly. "I know you were very much looking forward to their visit, I'm sorry that it had to end so soon."

"Thank you." Sayori said, quickly hugging Yuri before looking up at Shin and their purple-haired friend. "How about you two? Why are you out so late?"

"Umm... well, that would be my fault..."

"Are you feeling okay, Yuri?"

Yuri laughed off the question. "Sayori, I wouldn't want to distract away from what's bothering you."

"No, it's okay Yuri!" Sayori smiled at her. "I'm going to be okay, I promise. I want to know what's going on with you, please?" Yuri looked over at Shinsuke.

"If you can trust me, Yuri, than you can definitely trust Sayori."

Sayori put a hand on Yuri's. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, I understand, but I'm all ears if you need to talk."

"Umm..." Yuri sighed. "Well... oh, of course I can trust you. Um... would you like to walk and talk?"

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Yuri told Sayori everything. The urges, the actions, she even showed her arms when Sayori had asked to see them. She was worried, of course, but Sayori responded with her trademark softness and understanding, and the both of them felt better by the end of their conversation. Before too long, though, the three of them were standing in front of Sayori's. There was a silence before Sayori started to gently weep.

"Are you alright, dude?" Shin said, rushing to her side.

"Yeah... no... I just didn't think I'd have to be alone tonight, Shin."

"Then don't be."

"Wh-what?"

Shin smiled. "I got a spare bedroom and a whole house to myself. I, too, have absent parents." He turned to Yuri. "You, too, if you want!"

"Are you sure?" Sayori said.

"I don't know..." Yuri mumbled.

"Aww, c'mon!" Shin tried to reassure. "I think that a night with friends, a nice breakfast together in the morning, we'll all feel a little better after that."

"I'll go pack a bag!" Sayori started to bound toward her door, but turned back and gave Shin a quick hug. "Thanks, Shin, you're the best!" She happily exclaimed before going back inside, leaving Shin and Yuri alone. He turned to her.

"You don't have to, I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to." He smiled. "But, if I can be honest, I'd feel a lot better if I knew you were safe, and there's no where safer than Casa de Tanahashi."

She smiled. "Well... it would be nice to be with friends tonight..."

"So you'll stop by?"

"Umm... you know what? I would love to come stay the night!"

"Awesome!" He laughed. "I've got a bunch of movies and TV shows and we can make popcorn, if you two want!"

"Umm, Shinsuke?" She looked at him with an unsure urgency. His face fell.

"What's up?"

"Um... I was just wondering if you could... if you could do me a favor?"

"Anything."

She sighed before reaching into the pocket of her jacket and producing a switchblade and holding it out to him. "This is my favorite knife to use when I... do you-know-what. I don't think I should have this one anymore."

He took the knife and put it in his hoodie pocket. "Are there anymore of these I should have?"

"No, no, I should be okay."

"Yuri, I know you have more of them..."

"But I don't use them to hurt myself." She saw the doubtful look on his face and tried to reassure him with a smile. "I don't know how to explain it... the relationship I have with my knives... but it would feel wrong to use one of them. Every knife I've ever owned has been a gift, except two. I could never use a gift to do something like that to myself... it would feel like I'm betraying the person who gave it to me, if that makes sense."

"What about the other one?"

"Excuse me?"

"You said that every one was a gift, except two. I've got one in my pocket. What happened to the other one?"

"Oh." She laughed. "Well, actually, I gave that one to Sayori. I never got the chance to use that one, and I thought it was really pretty, so maybe she'd like it."

He remembered the knife he'd used to cut Sayori's rope. _Well, that finally explains THAT one._ "I'm very proud of you right now, you know that? It took guts to literally let go of a vice like that, and it was a huge step toward breaking the habit altogether."

"Thank you, Shinsuke."

Before he could respond, Sayori stumbled out of her front door, a big backpack slung around her shoulder. Shin ran toward the door and grabbed the bag. "Jeez," he said, "What do you need this big ol' thing for, anyway?"

"Well," Sayori responded, "I really wanted to bring one of my stuffed bears, and I thought that maybe Yuri would like one, and then I realized that she'd probably need some pajamas but I didn't know what size she was, but I thought it would be rude to ask so I grabbed a few different sized pairs from my moms dresser, and then I thought that maybe I should grab a blanket just in case, and on the way out I passed the bowl where we keep the candy..."

"Sayori, how much if this is just candy?" Shin grinned. She nervously laughed.

"Hehe, um... well, are we ready to go?"

Shin laughed and looked up at Yuri. She smiled.

"Let's head over to... what did you refer to it as, Shin? _Casa de Tanahashi?"_


	10. Chapter 10

Shin held his father's hand, a bright smile on his face, bouncing up and down with excitement as they walked to the car. "Dad, did you see when Jushin Liger hit the moonsault?"

"Did I?" His father boomed, not an ounce of stress or exhaustion in his voice. "That was the best part of the matches tonight! Although I gotta say, those Young Buck kids are gonna be something some day."

"Bleh!" He stuck out his tongue. "Bunch of pretty boy wimps that had to cheat to win!"

"But they still won tonight, didn't they?"

"Yeah, whatever, they could never win a fair fight!"

Shin's dad laughed as they got in the car and drove off. Shin quickly felt his good mood fade away as he remembered the other day, seeing his Mom kissing one of her coworkers. Shin began to fidget in his seat a little bit, trying to focus on the wrestling matches he'd just seen, or the music that was on the radio.

"You doing alright, kid?" Shin's Dad asked concerned.

"Um, yeah Pop, just can't get comfortable."

"Shinsuke," he said in a stern-yet-caring voice, "I've been your Dad for 10 years. I can tell when something's bugging you. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but you don't need to lie to me, son."

"You'll get upset if I tell you."

His dad took a hand off the steering wheel and put it on his son's shoulder, never looking away from the road. "Son, you can't upset me because I love you so much. Now, c'mon, what's bugging you?"

Shin sighed. _He should know. _"Umm... Dad, I think I saw Mom doing something she wasn't supposed to be doing..."

xoxoxoxoxoxo

"Shin?"

He woke up on his couch, damp with sweat and breathing heavy. He surveyed his surroundings- he was in his living room, a DVD menu was playing on the screen. _Right, sleepover. Must have fell asleep during the movie._ He looked over to see Yuri curled up in her blanket on the shorter part of the L-shaped couch, fast asleep, then noticing a sleepy-yet-concerned looking Sayori next to him.

"Shin, are you okay?"

"Hmm?" He rubbed his eyes. "Oh, yeah, peachy keen, Sayori. Just a bad dream, s'all."

"I had one, too." She looked away. "I was hoping that bringing my bear would help, but it really didn't..."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Sayori. Is there anything I can do to help? I can make you some tea, or a warm glass of milk if you'd like?"

"Umm... no, I don't need you to get me anything, but... uh, there is one thing you can do... no, that'd be weird."

"Try me." He half-smiled. "You've seen the anime I like, I can handle a little bit of weird."

She looked up at him with puppy-dog eyes. "Um... well, usually when I have nightmares like that, I cuddle up with my big, stuffed cow, but since I don't have that... um... can I cuddle with you?"

Shin's heart skipped a beat and he felt a few new beads of sweat drip down his forehead. "Um... y-yeah, I mean, if you think it would help..."

She nuzzled up next to him, putting her head on his chest and wrapping her arms around him. He sat in place, completely rigid for a moment, but soon he felt the tension fade, and he melted into the embrace like butter over a stack of flapjacks. He wrapped his arms around her, cradling her head and stroking his fingers through her hair.

"You're really warm, Shinsuke."

"That's all the teenage angst that fuels me."

She giggled. "Thank you, Shin."

"Anything for you, Sayori."

They sat there holding one another tight before drifting off to sleep, neither plagued with their nightmares the rest of the night.

Xoxoxoxoxoxo

Shin slowly cracked his eyes open and moved a hand up to block out the sun. He glanced over to see it was just after 8. He saw Yuri still snug as can be, then noticed Sayori still wrapped up in his arms, a peaceful look resting upon her face. Shin smiled, feeling a warmth bubble over him.

_Did I just spend a night cuddled up to Sayori? Boy, I could get used to this... I don't think I've slept so well in my life. _He realized that his heart was thumping, then he thought back to the conversation that the two had before everything got flipped upside-down.

"I'm scared that... that I like you more than you like me."

_I feel like I should tell her. I don't know what she meant by that, but I know how I feel... maybe she does like me like that? I mean, that would be pretty sweet, anyway. _He sighed. _I can worry about that later. Right now, I just want to enjoy this moment for as long as I can._ He pulled Sayori in a little tighter and sat there for a few minutes, thankful for the circumstances, before his eyes shot open. _Fuck, I gotta pee really bad!_

He spent the next several minutes slowly unraveling his body from hers, being as careful as can be so he wouldn't wake her. Once he'd done that, he went and used the restroom, grabbing a quick shower after. When he was done, he saw that the time was about 8:20, so he figured it was time to start thinking about breakfast.

"I'm thinking pancakes." He mumbled to himself as he walked into the kitchen. "With some sausage links, fried potatoes, definitely using the nice coffee... or should I go with the breakfast tea?" He started looking through the refrigerator and cabinets, finding MOST of the ingredients he needed.

"Shit, I'm gonna have to walk up to the store." Shin quickly, quietly crept up the stairs and got changed into jeans and a T-shirt. He descended just as quietly and tried to creek open the door just as silent, but...

"Shin?"

He looked over and saw a very sleepy looking Sayori looking over the back of the couch at him.

"Where are you going?"

He walked over to the couch and knelt down a little. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"S'okay."

"Anyway, I saw that I was missing a few things for breakfast so I thought I'd go grab them real quick. I'll be no more than a half hour, 45 minutes if it's busy."

"You mind if I go back to sleep while you do that?"

He softly chuckled. "Not at all, Sayori, get some rest." He went to turn to the door, but she grabbed his hand. "Is everything okay?"

"Oh, yes, of course, I just..." she started to blush a little. "I just wanted to say thank you... for last night. I don't think I've slept that good in years."

"Well, you're not the only one." He crooned. "I should really be the one thanking you." They stood like that, each drinking in the presence of the other, before Shin's stomach grumbled a little. "Alright, I gotta go to the store real quick. I'll be right back, okay Sayori?"

"Okay, Shin." She yawned and curled back up on the couch. He smiled as he walked toward the door, opening it and being mostly out, before...

"Be safe." Yuri groggily stated before rolling over and falling right back asleep.

"Can do, but only because you asked so nice!" He said before softly closing the door and beginning his little trip.

It was a gorgeous Spring morning, Shin noted as he walked. The birds were chirping, the sun was out, the sky was dotted with fluffy clouds of all shapes and sizes and, best of all, it was still early enough that the store wasn't totally slammed. He took his time grabbing what he needed, but was still checking out within 10 minutes. He started to leave the store once everything had been bagged up and paid for, but noticed someone also leaving.

"Monika?"

Monika spun around and smiled when she saw him. "Shinsuke! Fancy meeting you here!"

"Yeah, no kidding! What's up?"

"Oh, not much. I woke up early because it's Monday, but I forgot that we have a three-day weekend."

"Gotta love em'!" Shin grinned. "Thank god for administration meeting days, or whatever the teachers do when we're not around!"

Monika giggled. "Indeed! Anyway, I realized that I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep, and I didn't really have anything else to do, so I thought I'd see if there were any deals at the market. How about you, you don't seem the type to be up and about this early if you can help it."

"Just grabbing some things for breakfast. Usually I'd just rough it, but I thought that company would like to eat."

"Oh, company?"

"Yeah, Sayori and Yuri crashed at my place last night. We um... uh, rough night all around."

Monika's face fell. "Are you all alright?"

"I think we're good now. Just needed to have some friends around."

"Yes, that does sound nice." Shin noticed the sadness in her tone, and an idea popped in his head.

"Hey, wanna join us for breakfast?"

"Oh!" Monika seemed genuinely shocked by the offer. "Um, well if it wouldn't be too much trouble..."

"Not at all!" he waved her concerns off. "Probably got more crap here than we could eat, so having an extra stomach at the table'll be nice, cuz I'm making all of it!"

"Well, I guess if I'm doing YOU a favor!" She giggled. "Hey, I checked out that artist you suggested, by the way?"

"Huh?" The two started walking back toward Shin's. "Oh! You checked out Kristine? You see what I mean about her?"

"She really IS like a modern-day Madonna, in all the right ways!"

The two discussed music the whole way back, getting back a little after 9 to the sight of the two girls still crashed out on the couch. They quietly went into the kitchen and started preparing and cooking a huge breakfast, taking them roughly 20 minutes. As they were finishing, Sayori stumbled into the kitchen.

"Mmm, what smells so goo- Monika!"

She turned around and smiled. "Hey, Sayori! Good morning!"

"Morning!" Sayori chimed. "When did you get here?"

"Half hour ago?" Shin said, scooting some pancakes from the pan to a big ol' stack, then pouring the last of the batter. "Bumped into her while I was out shopping, so I invited her over."

"Do you two need any help?" Sayori sheepishly asked.

"Nah, just about done here!" Shin responded, sliding the spatula around the sides of the pancake so it wouldn't stick when he tried to flip it. "I just got this last flapjack, and Monika's finishing up the tea. All you gotta worry about is that bed head!"

Sayori blushed, which made Shin laugh. "Relax," he said, "it's kind of adorable."

Yuri walked into the kitchen. "Good morning, everybody!"

Sayori bounded off toward the bathroom. "Fixing hair!" She squealed, making Shin erupt in laughter.

"What was that abou-" Yuri stopped. "Oh! Hello Monika!"

"Good morning, Yuri! Are you hungry?"

"I'm famished!"

"DON'T YOU DARE START EATING WITHOUT ME!" Sayori yelled from the bathroom.


	11. Chapter 11

_It's late in the night and my thoughts keep me up again_

_Constantly whirling, twirling, spinning around, my friend_

_Try to drown it out by rolling smoke, popping pills_

_But it's fleeting, feel defeated, lost without my will_

_The nightmares, they won't go away_

_Plaguing me, sickly reds and greys_

_Every night when the sun goes down_

_The bravery fades and the monsters come around_

_Out in the moonlight, stumbling about_

_My fears manifest, tightens my chest, fills me with doubt_

_Always lingering, hiding just out of sight_

_But what if we all had our monsters? Would it fill you with fright?_

_The nightmares just won't go away_

_Haunting me, sickly reds and greys_

_Every night as the sun goes down_

_The bravery fades and the monsters come back around_

"This is very well written, Shin!" Monika chimed after finishing his poem. "I can't help but notice that your work has become more somber, but I suppose I can understand that. It's clear that you're pouring a lot of your feelings into your lyrics and poetry, and the best written work is often packed with the emotions of the author."

"Thanks, Monika." Shin smiled, but quickly felt rather unsure of himself. "Uh... I liked your poem. I really liked... um... how it rhymed, and... man, I'm sorry, I'm no good at these critiques. I really liked it, though."

"Thank you, Shin!" Monika laughed before turning to the other two girls in the room. "Well, everyone, I believe that concludes today's meeting! I'll see you all tomorrow!"

Shin walked over to Sayori. "You gotta grab anything before we head back?"

"No, I think I got everything!" Sayori chirped. "Are you ready?"

"Let's hit it!"

The two walked back, discussing their classes and their homework and what not, before Sayori addressed the elephant from earlier.

"Hey, did you hear from Natsuki today?"

Shin lowered his head in thought. "Hmm... now that you mention it, I don't think I have."

"It's not like her to miss club like that... do you think she's okay?"

"Ah, I'm sure she's fine!" he tried to reassure, but the truth was he was a little nervous. This is the first literature club meeting she'd missed since he started coming. He continued to chatter with Sayori, but his mind was occupied with worry. Before long, they got to Sayori's house.

"Sure you don't want me to hang out today?" Shin asked.

"I mean, I was really looking forward to taking a nice, long bubble bath today..."

"No, no, I wouldn't want to interrupt!" He said, shaking his hands and blushing. "You enjoy your bubble bath, Sayori!"

She laughed, gave him a quick hug and went inside, leaving Shin alone with his worry. He looked down at the concrete as he walked back, a million different scenarios playing through his head to explain why Natsuki wasn't there, today. Three houses away from his, he finally looked up and, to his surprise, he saw Natsuki sitting on his front steps. He felt a wave of relief wash over him, but that was quickly replaced with a sinking feeling as he got closer and got a better look at her. Her hair was a mess, she was visibly upset, her outfit was all messed up... her lip was bloody and her eye was black?

"Holy shit... NATSUKI!" He ran the rest of the way, jumping over his front fence to get to her.

"Can I come inside? I didn't know where else to go..."

"Yeah, dude, come in." He quickly fished his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the front door. "Is there anything I can get you? I've got a first aid kit, I've got water, are you hungry? What do you need?"

"Water." She said as she limped into the house, collapsing on the couch. "And you might want to get the first aid kit."

He quickly ran into the kitchen and fetched Natsuki a glass of water, gave it to her, then quickly retrieved the first aid kit from the upstairs bathroom. When he returned to the living room, the glass was half-empty and tinted red with Natsuki's blood. Shin winced a little at the sight, but tried to keep a straight face as he sat on the coffee table in front of her.

"Um, I gotta be honest, Natsuki, I don't have a ton of experience with this..." He held up the first aid kit and rattled it a little.

Natsuki grabbed it and fished out everything she needed. She opened the disinfectant and put it on a cotton swab, handing it back to Shin. "I need you to dab this anywhere you see blood."

"O-okay." He started to dab at her lip, but he noticed all sorts of tiny lacerations on her face. He took his time, making sure to get every single one, expecting her to wince with every dab, but Natsuki didn't react in the slightest. She just stared down at the ground, trying to avoid Shin's gaze as hard as he could.

"Okay, that's all of them."

"Now I need you to take that cream and dab a bit on each cut. I'm also going to need something cold for my eye."

Shin covered her cuts with the cream, then ran off to the kitchen and grabbed a bag of frozen vegetables from the freezer, quickly returning and handing it to her.

"Thanks." She said, grabbing the bag and putting it over her eye.

"You're... so calm right now." Shin sputtered.

Natsuki laughed... well, tried to, anyway. "Yeah, this isn't my first time."

"Um, right... Natsuki?"

"My dad's a piece of garbage and I just fucking wish..." she trailed off, her head lowered, and she began to cry "...I just fucking wish he'd drop dead."

Shin's jaw dropped at first, but he soon felt a hatred unlike any he'd felt before wash over him. His fists balled up, his jaw clenched and his body got very tense. "How long?"

"Fuck... how old am I?"

"I'll fucking kill him." He shot up. "Where the fuck is he? I'll carve his throat out!"

She spurt out a mix between a laugh and a sob. "I appreciate it, but sit down. He's in the back of a cop car, now. I've at least got that going for me."

He sat and felt a little relief when he heard that. "Well, maybe he'll get stabbed or something."

"Here's to hoping."

He was silent for a moment, struggling to figure out what to say. "Um... are you gonna be..."

"Okay?" She started to get huffy, but quickly caught herself. "Sorry..."

"No, no, I'm sorry." Shin lowered his head. "That was a REALLY stupid question."

She laughed a bit. "It was, but it's okay. I'm sure you don't have girls with black eyes show up on your doorstep every day. Shin, I really don't know if I'm gonna be okay." She sighed, then looked over at him. "He always told me that if I ever called the police, he'd sell the house before he let me have a moment of peace while he sat in jail. So I'm effectively homeless."

As if a switch had been flipped, Natsuki began angrily screaming. "UGH! What the FUCK am I gonna do, Shin? My piece of shit Mom won't take me, my piece of shit family want nothing to do with me, I'm just FUCKED, aren't I? I'm gonna end up on the streets, sucking DICK..."

"Enough of that!" Shin said. "You're NOT gonna be on the streets, okay?"

"Then where am I gonna be?" She spat.

"Here." He got up, walked around the couch and pointed down the hall. "Got a spare bedroom down the hall, open to you as long as you need."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm sure your Dad..."

"My dad's never home, so he can suck a dick, alright?" He hopped the back of the couch to sit next to her again. "I'll go with you to your place to grab anything you need while he's gone, but after that you're not going back there, and you're NOT ending up on the street. I'm not letting any shit like that go down with one of my friends, so get that thought the fuck out of your head, right?"

Natsuki's jaw hung for a moment before Shin's words completely sank in. "Shin, you can't let me do that..."

"Yeah? Why not?"

"Because I'm a girl..."

"Yuri and Sayori crashed here the other night. House is standing, nothing caught fire, world didn't end."

"...but what if Sayori gets jealous?"

"Natsuki, if Sayori understood what was going on then she'd be pissed if I DIDN'T offer. Besides, why would she be jealous?"

"Pfft!" Natsuki rolled her eyes. "Why would she be jealo..." She saw the look of confusion on Shin's face. "Oh my god, you really ARE that oblivious, huh?"

"What do you mean?"

"Don't worry about it." She slowly got up. "I'm not gonna be able to say no, am I?"

"Not when your other alternative is behind a dumpster."

She sighed. "Get me a pair of sunglasses. If we wanna get back before it's dark then we're gonna need to go now, and I'm NOT walking down the street looking like THIS."

xoxoxoxoxoxo

With Natsuki's limp it took an hour to get to her house, and the sun was beginning to go down by the time they got everything she needed packed up. Despite Natsuki's protests, Shin ordered them an Uber so she wouldn't have to limp back to his house, and he made sure to order a pizza while they were on the way. Once they got back and got everything set up in the guest room, they pulled up one of Shin's favorite nature documentaries on a streaming service, and they ate in silence. Shin kept glancing over at Natsuki, trying to think of what to say, when he noticed she was messaging someone on her phone.

"So, um, who are you texting?"

"Sayori. Thought she should know I'd be over here."

"Oh... right on."

They sat in silence for a while before Natsuki spoke.

"Thanks, by the way."

"Hmm? Oh, fuck, don't mention it."

"No, fuck you, let me mention it." She responded, a devilish grin on her face.

He shot a smile back. "Alright, fine, go ahead."

She laughed. "Seriously, thank you. I really didn't know what I was going to do tonight."

"Seriously, Natsuki, it's no big thing. You needed a place to stay, I've got room, it was a no-brainer."

She laughed again. "You're too nice, Shin."

"Someone's gotta be!"

She put her plate down on the coffee table and slowly got up. "Okay, I need a shower, then I think I should get some rest."

"M'kay. You need anything and I'm not here, my rooms up the stairs, second door on the right. Or you can just yell really loud, I think I'll get the message."

"Thanks." She got up and started to walk toward the bathroom, but stopped in the entrance of the doorway and turned around. "Oh, and Shinsuke?"

He turned to face her. "Sup?"

"Hurry up and tell Sayori you like her, you idiot."

His jaw hit the floor as Natsuki turned around and limped to the bathroom. _How in the fuck..._

**A/N: Lyrics are from "The Monsters Come Around" off my up-coming album. Plz no steal, unless you plan to make BANK with it!**


	12. Chapter 12

Morning rolled by far too quickly for Shinsuke. It took him forever for him to fall asleep due to his ever-worsening racing thoughts; even though he knew that Natsuki was safe as can be literally one floor beneath him, he still felt physically ill with worry... and, to be quite honest, he couldn't get her comment out of his mind.

"Hurry up and tell Sayori you like her, you idiot."

Shin slowly opened his eyes, rolled out of bed, and practically collapsed into the shower. 10 minutes of freezing water later, though, he was at least awake enough to throw his uniform on and stumble down the steps and into the kitchen, to find Natsuki all ready to go, pouring two cups of coffee.

"Well, you're a graceful creature first thing in the morning." She grinned, passing him a cup. "Here, drink this before you kill over on me."

"Thanks." He pulled out a chair and sat down, taking a big gulp. "You're seriously not planning on going to school after yesterday, are you?"

"What, and sit around your empty house all day? Yeah, that wouldn't be awkward." Shin gave her a concerned glance, and she sighed. "Look, I told you last night this isn't my first rodeo. Concealer, sunglasses, maybe a bit of blush to make the red of my cheeks look a little less suspicious... besides, the police contacted the school and let them know everything, so it's not like I'm gonna get called into the office to explain why I look like this."

He sighed in defeat. "I still think you should take a day for yourself, but I'm not gonna force you to do anything."

"Except not sleep behind the grocery store."

"Duh!"

The two finished their coffee, grabbed their bags and stepped outside to find Sayori shockingly already waiting for them. The moment the front door closed, Sayori opened the gate and ran right up to Natsuki, giving her a giant hug.

"Natsuki, I'm so happy you're okay!"

"Heh," Natsuki nervously laughed, awkwardly returning the hug, "yep, peachy keen. That's me."

Sayori pulled back and looked at Shinsuke. "You did the right thing, Shin."

"No," he corrected, "I did the ONLY thing. There wasn't another way this was gonna play out, not on my watch."

"Sayori's right," Natsuki devilishly grinned, "you are kinda cute when you're fired up about helping your friends."

Both Shin and Sayori lit up fire-truck red at the comment. "Well," Sayori said as she turned and started walking, "better get going to school now, huh?"

"Yeah," Shin agreed as he lowered his head and followed, "um, don't wanna be late."

Natsuki just cackled as she trailed behind the other two.

Xoxoxoxoxoxo

The Tanahashi household had never been as lively as it was that week. Obviously Natsuki stayed over, but it seemed like every day one of the other club members was there, as well, trying to help Natsuki start this new chapter of her life. Wednesday it was Sayori and Monika, Thursday saw Yuri drop in, Friday it was everyone, either bringing clothes or comfort items or helping her unpack, Friday they even went back up to her house to grab the rest of her belongings.

Which meant that Shin was bushed by Saturday morning, only being enticed out of bed by the lingering scent of breakfast foods being prepared. After his morning-ritual shower, he walked down the stairs and turned the corner, expecting to see Natsuki.

"Morning, kid."

"Oh shit, Dad! What's up?"

"Shit." Shin watched as his old man flipped an omelet. "Don't gotta be in work until later, thought I could at least grab breakfast with my boy and... um, whoever is in our guest room."

"Oh..." Shin looked down at his feet. "Yeah, I guess I forgot to text you about that one..."

"Yeah, I think you did."

He sighed. "That's my friend Natsuki, she needed a place to stay... her old man was hitting her, Dad."

Shin's dad dropped the spatula. "Where is he now?"

"Rotting in a jail cell."

He sighed. "Good, good. Well, Casa de Tanahashi's open as long as she needs it, but text me next time so I don't walk in on a half-naked teenage girl. I'm an old man now, Shin, I can end up on a list for that!"

Shin roared with laughter. "Jeez, Dad, that's fucked up!"

"I know, why do you think I'm trying to avoid it?"

"Who the fuck..." Natsuki stumbled into the kitchen rubbing her eyes, which shot wide open when she saw Shin's dad. "Um... am I seeing double, or should I go back to bed?"

"Finish this, kid." Shin's dad passed the spatula off to Shin, then walked over to Natsuki, extending his hand. "It's wonderful to meet you, Natsuki. I'm Tatsumaru Tanahashi, Shinsuke's father."

"Oh!" Natsuki shook his hand. "Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Tanahashi..."

"Please, Mr. Tanahashi was my father. Call me Tatsu!"

"Yes, sir. So, um... did Shinsuke..."

Tatsu held up his hand. "Just filled me in, and our home is your home for as long as you need it. Just don't trash the place, don't burn my house down and unclog the shitter if you..."

"DAD!"

"Girls poop too, Shinsuke, quit living in your dream world and step into reality, fucker!"

"I like your dad, Shin."

Shin rolled his eyes as he separated the eggs between four plates. "You gross fuckers can get your own drinks!"

"Um, son?" Tatsumaru asked as he looked at the plates. "I know you haven't been sleeping well, but did you forget how to count?"

As if on cue, someone knocked at the front door. "Nope, not that tired yet!" He bounded to the front door and opened it to find Sayori.

"Hey Shin! Mmm, what smells so good?"

"Well, I got two surprises for you." The two walked in and headed to the kitchen. "The first is breakfast, and the other one..."

"PAPA TATSU!"

Tatsu whistled. "Boy, you got tall since I last saw you, Songbird!" The two embraced. "How's my favorite kid doing?"

"I'm great!" Sayori chirped.

"What, your actual kid isn't your favorite anymore?" Shin sarcastically shot at his dad.

"This one doesn't make fun of me. Plus she smells better."

The four sat and ate and the conversation became a nostalgic trip down memory lane, the Tanahashi boys and Sayori regaling Natsuki with all sorts of tales from their younger days... thankfully for Shin and Sayori, Tatsumaru decided to leave out the more embarrassing stories. Once they'd finished, Natsuki dragged Sayori away for "girl time", leaving the Tanahashi boys to clean up the dishes, throwing on a monster movie afterward. Before too long, though, it was time for Tatsu to leave.

"Sure you can't call off work today, Pop?"

"Sorry, son." Tatsumaru said as he pulled he put on a tie. "Got three mouths here to feed, now, and I'm sure that Ms. Natsuki likes food as much as us."

"Might as well make that four, as often as Sayori's over."

"Right then, four mouths. You know, I'm still ecstatic that you and Sayori are spending time together, again. I always thought that you two were good for each other."

"Whaddya mean?"

"Well, you two just seem to be happier when you're together. I can't speak for her, so much, but I know your mood vastly improves when you two are together... like you're incomplete without her, or something."

Shin nodded. "Yeah, I guess I can see that."

Tatsu sighed. "Alright, back to the old grind. Love you, boy, take care of those girls."

"Sir, yes sir!" Shin gave a mock salute as Tatsu left the house, and turned to use the bathroom. The restroom of the first floor was the door after Natsuki's room, so he couldn't help but overhear their conversation. 

"...Natsuki, I TOLD him..."

"Yeah, well he's an idiot."

"Natsuki! He's not an idiot!"

"Okay, relax. Look, he's smart and he's shockingly good with emotional stuff... just not that kind of emotional stuff."

Shin froze in his tracks, knowing he shouldn't be eavesdropping, but also feeling his legs go slightly limp. _Who the hell are they talking about?_

"...I'm just scared to tell him."

"Sayori, what am I gonna do with you?"

"What do I even say? I was barely able to get the words out the first time!"

"Well... hang on... HEY, IF THERE'S ANYONE OUTSIDE MY DOOR THEY BETTER PISS OFF!"

"JUST WALKING TO THE BATHROOM, DON'T WORRY!"

"USE THE ONE UPSTAIRS, YOU CREEP!"

"Natsuki..."

"Oh, he can pee upstairs!"

_Shit._ Shin turned around and walked upstairs. _Shit, were they talking... about... me?_


	13. Chapter 13

Shin spent most of his afternoon up in his room, finally nailing the guitar track on the song he'd been working on since the Sayori incident. His synths sounded good, the bass was pumping, the drums snapped just right, all he really had left to do was vocals. He glanced at his clock, seeing it was just before 6, then decided to save his progress and leave vocals for another day.

"Wonder what the girls are up to."

He slung his guitar off his back, put it back on it's rack and walked down the stairs to find an empty house. Shin walked around, confused, until he saw a note on the kitchen counter.

_Shin!_

_How the HELL do you not have baking soda?!_

_Sayori and I will be right back._

_~Natsuki_

"Well... probably not gonna get the house to myself like this for a while, better lay down that vocal track."

He went back up the stairs, re-opened his software and set his microphone up in the closet so the hanging clothes would dampen the echo of the room. Once he'd set up, he checked to make sure that the girls weren't about to be back and, once he was sure that he had time, he got to work.

Xoxoxoxoxoxo

_Oh, Gloria I_

_Feel so much better, I_

_Feel so much better today!_

_And it's not the drugs_

_and it's not the weather_

_I just feel so much better today_

_I've been asleep in the drivers seat_

_I've been lost in my head for weeks_

_Trying to find what it is I need_

_Too goddamn tired to sleep_

_And then there are other times_

_I'm so aware that I lose my mind_

_And I feel that I could get enough_

_So high that I can't stand up_

_Oh, Gloria I_

_Feels so much better, I_

_Feel so much better today!_

_And it's not the drugs_

_and it's not the weather_

_I just feel so much better today_

_There are those who will never learn_

_Who build a fire and can't stay warm_

_The only secret to make it through_

_Is to take what's in front of you_

_I feel death and it thrills me_

_And all the lights in front of me_

_Drive till' the coast is clear_

_Fight until it disappears_

_Oh, Gloria I_

_Feel so much better, I_

_Feel so much better today_

_And it's not the drugs_

_And it's not the weather_

_I just feel so much better today_

It took four or five takes, but Shin was more than content with how it turned out. Once he'd saved up again, he went back down the stairs to the smell of cookies.

"Good evening, ladies!" He said as he walked into the kitchen and sat at the table.

"Hi, Shin!" Sayori turned around to reveal that she was covered in flour, which made him laugh.

"So are we baking you, then? You're certainly sweet enough!"

"Ehehe, I had a little accident sifting the dry ingredients."

"The cookies would be nearly done by now if we didn't have to clean it up." Natsuki growled.

"Aww, c'mon, I'm sure it'll be worth the wait!" Shin tried to reassure. "Anything I can do to help out?"

"Yeah," Natsuki said, "stay out of the master's way!"

"I think I can do that..."

"You, too, Sayori! Top Chef Natsuki's making dinner tonight, and she needs her work space clear!"

"Oh, o-okay."

The two made their way into the living room and plopped down on the couch, Shin channel surfing until he found a nature documentary. "So did you two have a nice girls day?"

"Uh huh!" Sayori chirped. "I helped her organize her manga collection, and we did each others hair and we baked those cookies... even if I kinda got in the way a little."

"I'm sure you did your best, Sayori." Shin laughed. "It sounds like you two had a good day!"

"Yeah! Umm... I heard you singing upstairs, are you working on a new song?"

Shin felt a shiver shoot up his spine. "Um, yeah... you weren't supposed to hear that yet, though."

"I'm sorry." Sayori looked down in shame. "I couldn't hear very well if..."

"Hey, I'm not mad or anything, Sayori. I'm just kinda... shy, I guess, when it comes to music."

"You shouldn't be." She looked back up, a new found determination in her eyes. "You're a really good musician, Shin, and your voice is beautiful."

"You think so?"

"Mmm hmm, I love hearing you sing!"

"Well, you'll have to be the first person I show that song to, then, once I get it mastered, huh?"

"Hooray!" She threw herself across the couch and embraced him, which Shin quickly returned.

He expected it to be over quickly, but she didn't let go right away. Instead, she stayed curled against his side, her arms wrapped around him, head on Shin's stomach. He felt a warmth envelop him from head to toe, as he ran his nails gently up and down her back, nostrils flooded with her strawberries-and-cream perfume.

_This is perfect. This is actually the greatest moment of my life. Nobodies in trouble, everything's okay, and I'm cuddling with the girl I love._

"What was that, Shin? You were mumbling."

"Oh..." He blushed HARD. "Um, nothing, just thinking out loud."

"M'kay." She looked away from him and nuzzled against his chest again, making his heart melt like a candle over a flamethrower. He held her tight with one arm, using his other to slowly, gently run his fingers through her hair, and making sure to gnaw on his tongue a little bit so he wouldn't accidentally narrate his thoughts aloud again.

_Maybe Natsuki's right. I mean, I love her. There's no denying that, not anymore, and there's a chance she at least likes me back. Like, who else could they have been talking about? Sayori doesn't hang out with any other guys, does she? Nah, I think I'd notice with how much time we spend together... maybe it's a classmate? Shin, quit trying to talk yourself out of it. You HAVE to tell her._

"Dinner's ready!" Natsuki chimed from the kitchen. "Come get it while it's hot or I'm beating you with the broom!"

Sayori sighed. "You know, for the first time I actually don't want to get up for food. You're soooo comfy, Shin!"

"Yeah, but I think that getting beat with a broom would suck, now wouldn't it?"

"Maybe it'll be worth it?"

Shin sighed. _I don't want this moment to end either, Sayori._

"What do you mean?"

_STOP. SPEAKING. YOUR. THOUGHTS. SHIN._

"Shin, are you okay? You look kind of red."

"I'm good, Sayori." Shin said. "Just need to learn when to not speak, is all."

Sayori gave him a confused look, but another bark from Natsuki saved his ass. Shin was stoaked to find that Natsuki had been working on a big spaghetti dinner, and hers was even better than his Dad's, with peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies for dessert. The three talked about the upcoming school week as they ate, and all tackled the clean-up together, but the whole time Shin found himself almost unable to look away from Sayori.

It was like a fire had been ignited under him, every emotion he'd tried so hard to ignore bubbling to the surface, and it didn't help that she had that big, beautiful smile. A genuine one that made the ice he worked so hard to cultivate around his heart melt away into a sea of passion.

Once everything had been cleaned up, the three headed to the living room, and Sayori stopped in front of the window. "You guys, look!"

Shin and Natsuki walked to the window, and Sayori pointed up toward the sky, where the stars were out in full display and there wasn't a cloud to be seen.

"It's so pretty!" Sayori sang.

"Yeah, it is!" Shin responded, before a lightbulb went off in his head. "Hey, wanna get a better look at them?"

"Eh?" Sayori's eyes lit up in excitement and, Shin noticed, Natsuki looked rather curious, too.

"C'mon, follow me!"

Shin took Sayori's hand, Sayori took Natsuki's and the three went up the stairs into Shin's room. He killed the lights, threw open the window and started to climb out.

"Shin, what the hell are you doing?" Natsuki said.

"Relax, there's a roof here." Shin waved off. "Best view of the stars in the neighborhood's on this roof, c'mon!"

Shin helped the other two onto the first floor roof that stuck out, and the three laid down to gaze at the stars, Shin laying in between the two girls. Soon, though, he was looking at Sayori, finding the child-like wonder in her eyes more beautiful than the night sky could ever hope to be.

"It's so pretty." Sayori said as she looked up, a bright smile across her face.

"Yeah, you are..." he whispered, not even caring when he realized he'd said it out loud. He looked back up and smiled- even in the dark, he could tell when Sayori was blushing. She got back at him, though, when she cuddled up with him again. The three laid like that for a while, occasionally pointing out stars, constellations, Natsuki even saw a planet, though they couldn't figure out which one it was.

At least two hours passed before Natsuki decided to throw in the towel for the night. Shin couldn't help but notice the devilish grin she flashed to him as she climbed back through the window, leaving Sayori and Shinsuke alone, holding one another under a sea of stars, and leaving Shin with his thoughts.

_What if it ruins everything? What if she doesn't like me back and it ruins everything? I can't imagine life without Sayori in it... but fuck, I don't want to keep it a secret anymore. UGH, what do I do?_

"Are you okay, Shin?" Sayori looked up at him. "You're getting a little tense."

"Hmm?" _Fuck. _"Ah, just got some stuff on my mind."

"What's going on?"

"It's nothing, Sayori."

"Shin, you spend so much time taking care of me, and taking care of the other club members, but you never talk about what's going on with you."

"Just snatch my whole damn wig, why don't you?"

She giggled, but her soon quickly returned to that of concern. "I just worry about you, Shin. You're always so strong and emotionally tough, but I guess... well, I can tell that things are getting to you. I don't want you to end up like I did... you know, when I wouldn't talk about anything."

He sighed, and decided that he'd address the issue without addressing it. "Sayori, what would you do if you wanted to tell someone something, but you were afraid it would ruin everything?"

"Hmm..." Sayori looked up and thought for a while. "...well, if it was somebody who really cared, I'd tell them because if they care, then they won't judge you for anything... well, unless you killed someone, I guess."

"Nope, not this week."

She giggled again, and Shin sighed in relief. "You always know what to say to bring my mind at ease, you know that, Sayori?"

"Well, at least I'm repaying the favor."

He looked up at the stars, building up every ounce of confidence he had within him, then finally spoke. "So, as much as I kind of wish that was rhetorical... um, Sayori?"

"Yeah, Shin?"

"Can... can I talk to you about something?"

**A/N: Lyrics are "Gloria" by The Midnight. They're my favorite band, check that shit out. It SLAPS!**


	14. Chapter 14

"Can... can I talk to you about something?"

Sayori sat up, a look of concern flashing across her face. "Are you okay?"

Shin sat up. "Yeah, I'm good, Sayori. I just, um... can we talk inside? I kinda want to be a little more comfortable for this one."

"Yeah, no problem."

Shin helped Sayori up, then through the window before hopping in, flipping on the light and plopping down on his bed. He patted a spot next to him, and Sayori sat down.

"So, um..." he started. "So I guess I wanted... um, to talk to you about how... I've been... um, feeling lately? Man, I've done this a million times in my head, you think this would be easier."

"Shin," Sayori tried to reassure her, "it's okay. Whatever this is about, it's obviously hard to talk about, so take your time."

"Thanks, Sayori. God, you're amazing, you know that?" With that, everything just seemed to flow out.

"And, like, you've always been amazing, no matter what. You came into my life just when things were starting to get weird with my mom... I always thought to myself that it was like getting a guardian angel, and when things got bad? No matter what, you were there. You've always been there for me when I needed you the most."

"You've always been there for me, too, Shin."

"Because I'd do anything for you, Sayori."

"I know you would, Shin."

"No, you really don't." He laughed, then stood up and started pacing around. "I mean, I know that you know I care about you, but you have no clue how much. I haven't let you know because I guess I've always been scared, but..." he stopped and faced her. "But you're everything to me, Sayori. I mean, like, everything. My Dad said earlier that it was like I was incomplete without you, and yeah, I agree with that."

"Shin..."

"Please don't stop me now, because I don't know if I'll ever be able to say this again for the first time."

She nodded, a smile on her face and tears beginning to build in her eyes.

"Did you know that you're the first person I think of when I wake up? Or the last person I think of before I go to sleep? That every good dream I have, you're in it? You've given me so much over the years. You've given me not only your friendship, but you've introduced me to the three other best friends I've ever had, Sayori. I kicked and fought and complained the whole time you tried to get me to join the club, and it turns out that this is the second best thing to happen to me... second only to ever meeting you."

By this point, Sayori was weeping tears of joy, but he continued. "I've always been a thick-skulled hard ass to deal with, but that never bothered you, because you saw right through that bullshit, didn't you? No matter how hard I tried to push you away, you wouldn't let me... I guess I did that, because I was always scared of this moment, right now. I was always afraid that if you knew how much I gave a shit, that you'd leave me just like my Mom did, and I'm realizing just how much of a fool I was for ever thinking that." He finally paused to sit next to her and take one of her hands.

"The past few weeks have been the scariest of my life, but in a way I'm almost thankful for them, because it got me to realize just... how much I care about you. I've been trying to run away from it, trying to suppress my feelings, but... fuck, Sayori, I love you."

Shin looked almost surprised when he finally got the words out, but that didn't come close to the bewilderment on Sayori's face.

"Wow," Shin exclaimed, "I guess it's finally out there, huh? I love you, Sayori. I have for years, and my biggest regret right now is not telling you a long time ago."

"...can I speak now?"

Shin laughed. "The floor is yours."

She giggled. "Shin, I... um... wow, you're right, this is hard." She took a deep breath, and Shin waited with bated breath.

"I mean, you're better with words, so I don't know if it's gonna sound as good, but... I love you, too."

"Holy shit, really?"

Sayori busted out laughing. "Yes, silly, why wouldn't I? I mean, everything you said about me? I can say the same about you. Like, I already confessed to you once..."

"So that IS what that was?"

"SHIN, YOU DUMBASS!"

"What the- NATSUKI, HAVE YOU BEEN LISTENING IN THIS WHOLE TIME?!"

"JUST PRETEND I'M NOT HERE, KEEP GOING SAYORI!"

Sayori started laughing. "I'll keep going, but you might as well come in here. I'll probably feel more confident..."

"SAY NO MORE!" Natsuki threw open the door, an ear-to-ear grin plastered across her face, and she sat down in Shin's office chair, intently watching with glee.

Sayori giggled again before she continued talking. "Shin, I've known how I felt about you for a long time, too, but especially after this past few weeks? You saved my life, Shin. You call me a guardian angel, but I would not be here without you, and you've been just the sweetest ever since. You've never gotten upset with me, you've always been so compassionate, so nice, so understanding of everything, and it hasn't been just me. Yuri, Monika, Natsuki, you bend over backwards to make sure we're okay, even when it's at your expense. Sometimes that scares me a little, but I know that it's because you care."

"Sayori, you don't need to worry about me..."

"She's right, Shin." Natsuki chimed in. "But we can talk about that one, later, get back to the cute stuff!"

"Can do!" Sayori giggled, before looking at Shin again, almost nervously. "So... um, yeah, I love you, and I guess you love me... um, whats next?"

Shin smiled. "So, like, I know in all the movies they just go for it, but that seems a little rude for the first time so... um, can I kiss you?"

"Please?" Sayori's eyes filled with stars. Shin gently chuckled before moving forward and pressing his lips against hers. His eyes shot wide when he realized that he was _finally_ kissing her, but they soon closed and the world around him faded away. Her lips were sweet like peaches, and the softest thing he'd ever felt. Shin cradled her silky skin with one hand, his other still intertwined with hers, her free hand softly caressing his chest. After what could have been five seconds or five years, they finally broke away, each drinking in the excitement in relief in the eyes of the other.

"You know, I had a million snarky comments I wanted to make, but that was actually the cutest thing I'd ever fucking seen."

Shin snapped his head around ready to respond with his own snark, but stopped when he saw that Natsuki was legitimately crying, smiling ear to ear, and was being 100 percent genuine in her comment.

"Um, thanks Natsuki..." Shin rubbed the back of his head, laughing. "I guess this probably wouldn't have happened were it not for you."

"Well, if you would have caught on the FIRST time Sayori confessed... seriously, do you have any idea how long it took me to convince her to do that?"

Shin looked over at Sayori, and she blushed. "Well, she IS right..."

"Okay, I'm still new to this whole love thing! Cut me a break, okay?"

Natsuki laughed. "Well, that was super cute, but I wanna do something! You two wanna go downstairs and watch a movie? I promise I won't make fun of you if you cuddle."

Shin turned to Sayori. "Whaddya say? I'll let you pick the movie!"

"...Tangled?"

Shin flashed a massive grin. "I'd love that."

The three went down the stairs and Natsuki plopped right on the couch, but Sayori stopped at the bottom and turned around. "Umm, Shinsuke?"

"What's up?"

"Uh... what are we, now?"

"Oh!" Shin stopped, thought for a moment and smiled a Cheshire grin. "Hey, can you wait right there for just a second?"

"Um, okay..."

"Right, I'll be back in just a second!" Shin bounded out the front door and ran over to one of his neighbors houses, creaking open the gate and moving quickly, yet quietly through their front yard until he got to their garden.

"No, no, no... yes!" He bent down and picked a Starry Night Petunia from the garden. "Sorry, Mrs. Kudo, but you've got 50 more of em'." Once he'd made it out of her yard undetected, he quickly ran back to his house to find a confused Natsuki and a VASTLY more confused Sayori.

"Sorry, wanted to do this right." Shinsuke walked over to Sayori and produced the flower, a gentle smile resting on his face. "Sayori, would you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?"

"Shin..." Sayori was unable to find the words, so she leaned forward and kissed him, sending a shock throughout his whole body and making his knees weak.

"So that's a yes, I take it?"

"Uh-huh!"

"Oh, jeez," Natsuki groaned, "you two are gonna get gross fast, huh?"

"Nah," Shin laughed, "just in private."

"Shinsuke, I LIVE with you now! I exist just in private!"


	15. Chapter 15

Shin slowly began to stir, waking up but not quite opening his eyes yet. He'd just had the most wonderful dream- he confessed his feelings to Sayori, she returned them, and they became partners at long last. It wasn't the first time he'd had that dream, but he always hated waking up from them. He tried to move, but he found that his right side was pinned down. Shinsuke finally opened his eyes to find that he was passed out on the couch, with Sayori wrapped up beside him. Memories of the previous night flashed through his mind, and he realized that it hadn't been a dream, at all. He really had confessed to Sayori, and he really was her boyfriend now. An ear-to-ear smile spread across his face as he slowly unraveled his body from hers. Once he'd accomplished that, he went to the bathroom, did his business and took his morning shower, throwing on some sweat pants and a plain t-shirt as he walked down to the kitchen, where Natsuki was already preparing breakfast.

"Hey, Natsuki."

"Oh, look, one of the lovebirds." She devilishly smiled at him while flipping a few pieces of bacon. "I'd ask how you slept, but I'm willing to bet that you slept just fine."

"To put it mildly, yeah. You got coffee yet, or you want me to get some going?"

"I'm good, but knock yourself out." Shin grabbed the pot and started filling it with water before Natsuki spoke again. "Hope you don't mind, but Yuri and Monika are swinging by in a little bit. They were going to help me decorate my room, so I invited them over for breakfast."

"I'm cool with that." Shin poured the coffee into the back of the machine and threw in a filter. "Guess that means one of us should wake Sayori up, then, right?"

"You can do that, I'm preparing a feast, here!"

Shin laughed as he shook the grounds into the filter, closed the top and flicked the machine on. "Can do, Master Chef!'" He strolled into the living room and knelt down beside Sayori, gently shaking her arm. "Hey, silly, time to wake up. We've got company coming over, and breakfast is being made as we speak."

Sayori groaned lightly as she cracked open her eyes. "Shin?"

"The one and only!"

"Um... did I have a weird dream or are we... um..."

Shin chuckled softly to himself before leaning in and gently kissing Sayori, which made her eyes shoot open. "You mean we're..."

"Dating." Shin finished. "You're still okay with that, right?"

Sayori giggled. "I think I can live with that."

"Groovy. Alright, I don't know what time Monika and Yuri are swinging by, so you should do what you gotta do."

Sayori slowly got up and walked to the bathroom, while Shin made his way back into the kitchen, finishing up the coffee and helping Natsuki with whatever she needed. As Sayori walked into the kitchen, a knock was heard at the front door. Shin went and opened it, being greeted by his friends.

"Good morning, Shinsuke!" A bubbly Monika greeted.

"Morning." Yuri mumbled, nowhere near as awake as the club leader.

"Hey there, good timing! Breakfast should be done any minute, just finished some coffee."

"Thank goodness." Yuri muttered, which made Shin laugh. The three walked into the kitchen, Yuri going straight for the coffee pot.

"Hmph, hey to you, too, Yuri." Natsuki tongue-in-cheek quipped.

"Oh, sorry. Hello, Natsuki." Yuri blushed a little, causing Natsuki to laugh.

"Alright, sit down, everyone, grub's on!" Natsuki plated up 5 orders of French toast and bacon while Shin got everyone a drink, then the group sat down and started digging in.

"So," Monika said while reaching for a bottle of syrup. "Natsuki said that there was some exciting news this morning."

Shin looked up at Sayori, thankful that he wasn't the only one blushing. The giant smile across her face sent his heart a flutter, though, giving him the confidence to speak up. "Um, yeah. Sayori, you wanna take this one, or should I..."

"Um, well..." Sayori stammered over her words. "Um, Shinsuke and I had a conversation last night and... well, er..."

"We're kind of dating now."

"OH MY GOODNESS!" Monika nearly jumped out of her seat in excitement. "You finally DID it! So, who confessed first?"

"Well, I guess I got the ball rolling on that one." Shinsuke rubbed the back of his head. "I mean, Sayori confessed to me before, but I was completely oblivious that time."

"Well?" Yuri looked up at Natsuki with a smile, while Natsuki shot a scowl back in return.

"Seriously?"

"A bet's a bet."

"Wait, what?" Shinsuke looked confused, but quickly caught on as Natsuki handed a folded-up banknote to Yuri. "Wait, you bet on whether or not we'd get together?"

"Oh, we always knew that you two would get together." Yuri smiled, putting the cash in her sweater pocket. "From the moment you walked in the club, we could all tell that you two had feelings for one another, it was only a matter of time."

"Then what was that about?" Shin pointed toward Yuri's pocket.

"Who'd confess first." Natsuki barked. "I would have won that bet if you understood what the hell she was saying the first time."

The table erupted in laughter before Monika asked for the details. Sayori and Shinsuke would go back and fourth telling the previous night's story as they ate their breakfast, but towards the end a ringing erupted through the house.

"What the... is that the land line?" Shinsuke asked, confused. "Man, I forgot we even had one of those."

"Well?" Natsuki teased. "Are you just gonna let it ring?"

"Guess I'll be right back. You can handle the rest of the story, right, Sayori?"

"I think I can handle that." Sayori giggled. She began explaining the lead-up to their first kiss as Shin walked into the living room, grabbing the cordless and answering.

"Hello?" Shin greeted.

"Hello, is this Shinsuke Tanahashi?"

"Yes?"

"Son of Tatsumaru Tanahashi?"

Shin felt his stomach sink. "Um, yes."

"Mr. Tanahashi, my name is Officer Misawa. There was a... um, an incident with your father... boy, I've never had to do this before."

Ice ran through Shin's veins. "What happened?"

"Um... well, at about 5 o clock this morning, your father was in a car accident. Um... he's not doing well, sonny."

Shin dropped the receiver.

Xoxoxoxoxoxo

With the exception of the ticking of the clock on the wall and the beeping of the heart monitor, the hospital room was completely silent. Shin stared blankly at his father, trying to wrap his head around the sight before him. Large portions of Tatsumaru's body were bandaged up or in a cast, his face was a battered mess and a tube sat in his throat helping him breathe. Shin wasn't even sure how he'd gotten to the hospital, the afternoon up to this point a complete blur to him. All he knew was that his friends were in the waiting room, and his father was clinging to life before him. He wasn't sure if he'd been there for several minutes or several hours before a doctor walked into the room.

"Mr. Tanahashi, I presume?"

"Um, yes, sir." Shin stood out of his chair and extended a hand to the doctor.

"My name is Doctor Mitsuharu." He said, accepting the hand shake.

"How is he?" Shin said, his gaze returning to his battered father.

Mitsuharu sighed. "He's not doing well. Several broken ribs, a broken arm, we're waiting for test results to figure out just how bad the internal damage is and, as I'm sure you can see, he hit his head pretty hard in the accident."

"Is my Dad going to be okay?"

"It's hard to say, Mr. Tanahashi." Mitsuharu lowered his head. "I'll be honest with you, until we get those results, it's a 50/50 whether he survives this."

Shin felt his whole body go numb. He'd spent most of the past few weeks doing what he could to save lives, to help his friends, filled with endless worry, but never in his worst nightmares did he think something like this would happen to his father.

"I promise, I'll do everything in my power to make sure your father walks away from this, but unfortunately I can't make any promises yet, Mr. Tanahashi."

"I understand. Thank you."

The two talked for a few more moments, Shin filled out some paperwork, and the doctor left. Shin sat there a few more moments before feeling completely overwhelmed, causing him to storm out of the hospital room. He'd made it to the main lobby and tried to march right outside, but was stopped by his four friends who'd been waiting for him.

"Shin?" Sayori was the first to speak up. "Shin, is he okay? Is he going to be okay?"

Shin stopped and faced them with a pale, blank expression. "50/50. Test results."

"Shin, are you going to be okay?" Yuri softly questioned.

"I'll be fine. I'm sorry, need to be alone."

Shin turned to leave, but Sayori put her hand on his shoulder. "Shinsuke..."

"I need to think... please..."

"Shin..."

"Sayori," Monika stepped in, "I think we should give Shinsuke a little space right now." She turned to face him. "You have all of our numbers. Please, if you need anything..."

"Yeah." Shin said nothing else as he finally turned around and walked out of the hospital and shuffled back to his place absentmindedly. Once he'd got there, he collapsed on the couch and thoughts of the worst began to flood his mind. He let his head fall into his hands, gripping fist-fulls of his hair, thoughts racing faster and faster until he stood up with a scream. Realizing that his mind was only going to get worse, he marched upstairs, threw open the door to his fathers room and made his way to Tatsumaru's closet. He opened it up and fished through several bags and shoe boxes until he finally found what he was looking for. He clutched the object as he exited his fathers room and entered his own.

Shinsuke sat on his bed and stared out the window for a while before finally looking down at the bottle of whiskey held tightly in his grip. He thought for a brief moment on whether or not he should crack it open, but the memories of his battered father proved to be too much for him. He cracked the cap off, lifted the bottle up to his lips and began to guzzle.


End file.
